Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below. Excessive quotes warning.

He’d never been looked at in such a way before—as if he was something to be devoured, to be worshiped, to be loved, to be defiled.

This book is really special. I read the book over a year ago and finally got around to listening to the audiobook. Philip Alces did an incredible job with it. It’s a character-driven story with an eventual HEA that the characters have to work hard for.

I’d definitely call it a taboo story. There’s nearly a 27 year age gap and a power imbalance. Luca grew up calling the other MC ‘Unka Immie’, as in ‘Uncle Imre’. They’re not related by blood, but have to navigate how their relationship has evolved from a childish and friendly love to romantic love, and it’s not a smooth journey. It is however super beautiful, even with all the angst. It’s one of those books that makes me cry a lot because it’s written in a way where you feel like your heart is being squeezed in a vice every time the characters are hurting, which is often.

“Nothing isn’t better than something, Imre. I would live fifty years with the pain of losing you for just fifty days to have you.”

Neither character is perfect, and they are (understandably) unsure about how to navigate their situation. I read a lot of age gap books, especially kinky ones, where a large age gap doesn’t seem to be an issue at all, and this book feels very realistic in comparison.

This is still the only Cole McCade book I’ve read, but holy hell can he write. It’s one of those where you have to go back and reread certain phrases or rewind the audio, just to hear it again. Shoutout for writing amazing spice as well. There’s not a lot of it, but what’s there leaves an impact.



Imre leaned down, ghosting his mouth against Luca’s, and Luca strained into it even as he wondered how Imre couldn’t taste the stifled scream on his breaths, bottled up and waiting to break free.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Large age gap
Demisexual MC
Family friend
Taboo
Pseudo-uncle
Silver fox
Sad and broken boy
Forced proximity
Slow burn
Virgin MC
Size difference
Farm setting

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
Explicit sexual content
Sick farm animals (no death)
Self harm (not taking care of injuries, feels he ‘deserves it’)
Homophobic comments and slurs (past)
Power imbalance

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: No
Breakup: Sort of, briefly
POV: 3rd person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 19/20 and 46
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 596

Luca the boy had been fragile, but Luca the man was completely broken. Lost. Hurting. Wounded, and struggling to cage all that unfettered emotion inside where he could protect it from others’ sharp touches—yet still it burst from him at every seam, desperate to be free.

And there were few things more powerful, more sensual, Luca realized, than feeling desired by someone you loved.

“Do you still love them?” “In a way.” […] “The way you love a memory. Something that isn’t real anymore and can never be real again. It’s a fondness that belongs not to the person or thing, but the place they occupy in your history and the fingerprints they left on the glass walls of your heart.”

“[…] I’m only me when I’m with you, and when I’m with you I’m everything I want to be.”


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