reubenalbatross 's review for:

The Hand That First Held Mine by Maggie O'Farrell
DID NOT FINISH: 32%
I moderately enjoyed the start of this novel. O’Farrell’s writing is lovely to read, and I was interested in the two storylines. However, as I read further, I was turned off more and more. 

Around 30% in I noticed that the modern timeline was getting more and more baby focussed, and way less interesting. I don’t need any more encouragement not to have kids, thanks. And from reding other reviews, the book’s biggest strength seems to be the themes of motherhood it explores, which I couldn’t care less about. 

I also thought all of the memory loss shite was lazy and unrealistic. How are these people still alive?? 

But the nail in the coffin was the ‘romance’ between Lexie and Innes. To me, this relationship entirely consisted of Innes taking advantage of a young woman, and the age/experience gap between them really started to bother me. She’s 21 and he’s 34. I’m 27 right now, and I can barely stand even being around 21-year-olds, let alone date one of them. 

To quote the book directly (and please note all quotes here are from the same scene): 

"I married Gloria when I was very young, as young as you, in fact." 

Innes says this to Lexie as if being young was a mistake for his stupid decisions. So why the fuck is he enticing her to make the same type of stupid decisions?? 

Two pages later when discussing their relationship he says: 

"And you're still a child, really" 

?!?!?!?!?!??! And this is AFTER we've seen them fucking in a flash forward, and right before they fuck for the first time. 

Then next page he’s talking to ‘himself’ (but out loud with her in the room): 

"She's twenty-one... Is that old enough? Is that even legal?" 

What an absolute goddamn creep. Yes, he’s meant to be saying it in a playful, teasing way. But HOLY CHRIST it takes two brain cells to see how fucked up this is. 

Adding on to the shit heap is the fact that Lexie never fucking talks. Their whole relationship is just Innes talking at Lexie and telling her how to live her life. That isn’t a romantic relationship, and almost gives parent talking to a child vibes, which is even creepier.  

If this was all being commented on by O’Farrell, and the message was intended as ‘don’t do this, this is bad’, it would be a different matter, but as far as I can tell the book portrays this as a love story I’m meant to find sexy and romantic, instead of a creep and a girl with Stockholm syndrome. 

I’m not that man I’m afraid.