***Update*** I changed the rating to two stars because the longer I was away from this book, the less I remembered any of the things I actually liked about it, while all of the awful things just crystallized in my brain. ***End Update***

This is a tough book for me to rate. There were parts that I really connected to, and others that just infuriated me. I couldn't decide between two or three stars, but in the end I went with three, because while I disliked a lot about the character of Rose and her decisions, there were aspects that I really enjoyed, and the concept was really intriguing.


MASSIVE SPOILERS FORTHCOMING:

Rose is a SAHM with three kids. Much of the novel centers around her feelings and thoughts as she goes through the motions of parenting. She does all of the things a SAHM is 'supposed' to do, but none of it actually seems to bring her joy. She feels inadequate when comparing herself to what she imagines the other moms are like. I don't think that's necessarily an uncommon thing. Many people struggle with their own insecurities when comparing themselves to their neighbors...it's that 'grass is always greener' mentality. I actually appreciated this part of the story, because it felt vaguely familiar to me. Rose finding her only joy in her dreams is where this novel veers off the course of a run-of-the-mill fiction.

Rose dreams of a boy named Hugo every night. In her dreams, they are in a different land and trying to get to a castle in the distance. There are barricades and obstacles in their way, and they never make it to the castle before Rose wakes up.

Then she meets a man who reminds her of Hugo...and surprise, surprise...it IS Hugo! She stalks him for several weeks before actually approaching him, and their relationship progresses from there, in the real world as well as the dream world.

This is where I started having real issues with the book. In the first part, she obviously not happy but she is still doing what she needs to do as a mother. When she starts following Hugo, she begins to shirk her responsibilities. She doesn't take her daughter to preschool because it interferes with her time to spy on Hugo. So she takes her daughter WITH her and they spend all day in the car being stalkery. She takes too long to get home from being with Hugo and her young sons have to wait for two hours outside their house for her to get home and let them in. After they actually meet face to face, it just gets worse.

My biggest aggravation with this book is the infidelity on Rose's part. Now, her husband is a trauma surgeon. He works insane hours, as is to be expected for someone in his line of work. And as someone who is a SAHM with a husband who sometimes has to work extra long hours, I understand that it isn't always easy. It's hard to get any time for yourself, and that can be stressful. But her husband is awesome. He thinks she is beautiful and sexy. She hates her body and turns away from him any time he tries to initiate intimacy with her. When she actually DOES reciprocate, she admits that she is disgusted by it because of her post-baby body. She admits to just going through the motions there too. But then Hugo kisses her in the dream world (where they both look hot), and she gets all lusty over him in the real world (where he is overweight and not especially attractive.) Now, if the kids had happened before Rose realized that Hugo was actually REAL, I could understand that, and it wouldn't bother me. But she knew he was real. She had invited him TO THEIR HOUSE for her son's birthday party and for dinner later on.
Later in the book she completely sets fire to her marriage vows by going to his home for the sole purpose of being with him physically. They begin kissing and messing around but he can't get it up so they decide to take sleeping pills so they can fool around in the dream world. While all of this is happening she thinks in passing about her responsibilities to her kids and her husband, but pushes it aside. "She wanted this, she wanted to know what it would be like." As if that is a good reason to step out on your marriage.

She continues to justify her disgusting behavior thusly:
"And besides, it was just sleep.
She had stopped just shy of any REAL infidelity. What haunted her was the possibility that she would have to think of herself as an unfaithful wife. A few minutes more and she would've been denied that...but this...
Well really...this was just a nap."

Someone needs to tell this bitch that emotional cheating is the same as physical cheating...and kissing another man and letting him rub all over you IS physical! She is an unfaithful wife!

Also, while the drug-induced sleep-cheating was happening her sons were waiting for hours at their front steps until someone called the hospital and her husband was pulled out of surgery because they couldn't get hold of her.

So needless to say, I had a real problem with Rose's character, as far as her moral compass goes. I felt like she redeemed herself somewhat after that point, once she realized that she was completely throwing her life away for what was essentially a fantasy. But the redemption didn't really click with me. I wanted to see her appreciation and love for Josh more than I did. I wanted a conversation and an apology AFTER the final incident with Hugo. I just felt like Josh deserved a lot better than what he got from her.

Hugo was creepy. From the very beginning he really weirded me out. They way he stared at Penelope when Rose brought her over, his demeanor when talking about his ex-wife and daughter, his coming over to their home uninvited and telling the boys who he was, and finally taking Adam in order to lure Rose to him...it was all freaking creepy. And when we learned his backstory, how he ended up in the dream...I didn't really feel sorry for him. I felt bad for the boy he'd been, because what happened was awful. Having his parents die the way they did would be traumatizing for anyone. But the fact that he was trying to take Rose away from her family...that was sick. And any romantic moments they had made my stomach turn because he creeped me out.

I did appreciate the whole idea of the dream world and its purpose. I didn't really care for the earlier dream scenes, but later on in the scenes when Rose's dreams and her reality were colliding...those were pretty compelling.

One last thing, and this may seem like a nitpick, but oh well. I don't feel like the cover to this book accurately conveys the tone and themes of this story. From the cover and the brief synopsis I read, I assumed that this was going to be a light, quirky story. That is not the case whatsoever, which could also add to the slight disappointment I felt after reading this book. I felt like it was misleading in some way.

All in all, I appreciated aspects of this book and could identify with some of the things going on in Rose's life as it pertained to motherhood and its struggles. But Rose's actions in reaction to her boredom just rubbed me the wrong way, and it was difficult to get past it.