If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like to be the daughter of a notorious serial killer, only to reinvent yourself as a snarky office worker with a penchant for dark humor and a deep-seated fear of being discovered, then Haven’t Killed in Years is certainly the book for you. 

This psychological thriller is a total vibe, blending dark humor, twisty suspense, and a protagonist so snarky I want to be her bestie. Grab your latte, babes.

Gwen Tanner, formerly Marin Haggerty, is the daughter of a notorious serial killer, now living her best (or, like, moderately okay) life as a sarcastic office worker who’s 🤏 this close to starring in her own true-crime podcast. She’s spent twenty years dodging her dad’s creepy legacy, perfecting her “I’m just a normal everyday girl” facade, complete with a carefully curated Insta that screams “nothing to see here!” But then... plot twist! someone starts leaving her severed arms outside her apartment. Yes, actual human bits. Talk about a Monday from hell. Suddenly, Gwen’s past is crashing her party, and I was living for every chaotic second.

Green’s writing? Sharper than my favorite butterfly knife and twice as fun. Gwen’s voice is like if your wittiest friend started hosting a true-crime TikTok, dropping one-liners that had me snorting into my coffee.

What’s got me fangirling? The way Green dives into true-crime fandom. It’s half satire, half love letter, roasting the obsession (guilty!) while making you feel seen. Gwen’s journey through this world, chasing a killer and her own demons, is equal parts thrilling and introspective. The vibes and shady side characters feel so real I could’ve sworn I met them at a family reunion. 

The pacing drags in a few spots, like when you’re waiting for your Uber Eats and it’s stuck in traffic. I was like, “Come on, Amy, let’s move this along!” And some plot points? A tad predictable, like spotting the red flags in your friend’s new situationship. But these gripes are small potatoes—the story’s so juicy I forgave it, like when your bestie flakes but shows up with iced coffee.

If you’re obsessed with Gillian Flynn’s snark or binged Your Favorite Murder, this is your next bookish crush. It’s got suspense, it’s got sass, and it’s got twists that’ll leave you shook.