Thank you to Inkyard Press (via NetGalley) for the ARC!

Content warnings:

Spoiler

anxiety attacks (on the page), verbal and psychological abuse from parents

Karina Ahmed is everything a parent should want: intelligent, successful in school, respectful of her elders and well-behaved. Yet somehow she still manages to disappoint her conservative Bangladeshi-Muslim parents. Her parents want her to be a doctor and major in biology in college. She’s only a junior in high school, but Karina has her heart set on studying English, but she’s afraid of disappointing her parents, so she hasn’t told them.

Alistair Clyde is the junior class resident bad boy. Also known as Ace. He’s rich, has an attitude, and keeps to himself for the most part. He’s handsome, but unattainable, and is hardly on Karina’s radar until their English teacher asks Karina to tutor Ace. Karina only agrees because her parents are out of the country on a month-long trip to Bangladesh. Otherwise, they’d never agree to her spending time alone with a white boy, even in an academic setting.

Things are going fine, and Karina is even starting to enjoy studying with Ace when he drops a bomb during a family dinner at his house: Ace tells his family they’re dating. Karina isn’t sure why he tells them this, and Ace is being evasive, but Karina agrees to go along with it. But she has to decide if she’s going to stop everything before her parents come home from Bangladesh, or if, maybe, she’s going to give herself a chance at happiness.

* * * * *
Oh my. This BOOK! I read most of it in a day, and there is so much going on here! It is such a layered story and the characters are SO well developed. I think I may need to just list everything I loved because it’s going to be hard to write a coherent, flowing review. There is just so much I loved about this book!!! I can’t talk about all of it without spoiling the whole book, so I’m hiding almost everything

Spoiler

1. Fake dating. Fake dating is one of my absolute FAVORITE tropes ever, so I knew I was going to love that. I always cackle when the characters think they’re not going to develop real feelings for each other even when their friends know the truth. The trope is done so well here, and Karina and Ace communicate so well with each other, even when they are still faking it. They set boundaries, apologize when they cross those boundaries, and those skills translate when they start dating for real.

2. Anxiety. Karina has anxiety. She is self-diagnosed because mental health isn’t really something that’s discussed in her family. She’s come up with coping methods, like counting down from ten to one (part of where the title comes from), to calm herself down when she feels too anxious. Karina’s anxiety is real, and it’s not glossed over. It affects her life in real ways, and she tries her best to handle it. When Karina and Ace become closer, he notices her tells, and comforts her when she’s anxious. He talks her through several anxiety attacks and never belittles her or dismisses how she feels. He offers support when she wants it, and backs off when she doesn’t. As an anxious person myself, who is not “officially” diagnosed, I really like how Karina’s anxiety was handled with such care, especially because it can be so isolating. Karina felt like it was something she had to handle by herself, but Ace came along and offered his help when she wanted it

3 Friends. Karina’s best friends, Cora and Nandini, are there for her through everything. All three girls are the children of immigrants, and share some common experiences because of this. They support each other through everything, and understand each other in ways that non-second generation Americans just don’t. But they also understand that there are things they don’t get, too. Karina’s parents are much more conservative than either Cora or Nandini’s are. They know sometimes all they can do is be there for her while she tries to figure out if her happiness or making her parents is more important. And their relentless support is a rock for Karina. I really loved how their friendship was portrayed on the page. I’ve read other YA books where once the love interest is introduced, the best friends kind of get shuffled off to the side. But the relationship between these three girls never falters, even through rough patches. They are fiercely loyal to each other, and are the epitome of teenage girl friendship

4. Dadu. Karina’s grandmother! Oh I love her so much!!! She is Karina’s quiet cheerleader, the one family member who Karina opens up to and who supports Karina unconditionally. Karina confides in her about her dreams to study English in college and her worries about disappointing her parents. Dadu, who suffered the loss of a daughter many many years ago, wants Karina to follow her dreams and is much more supportive than Karina’s own parents. The scene at the end of the book where she stands up with Karina to her son and daughter-in-law about how they have treated Karina had me in tears.

5. Karina + Ace. *SIGH* This relationship is so sweet! Even before they start dating for real, Karina and Ace’s dynamic is so cute. They are playful and sarcastic with each other, which, as a Super Sarcastic person myself, is my favorite! Karina finds herself unintentionally testing boundaries with him and becoming comfortable teasing him way faster than she expected. Also, their communication skills! Adults could learn from them!!! They don’t shy away from things that grown adults have trouble talking about! Karina sets boundaries with Ace because of her traditional upbringing. She has to explain to Ace that because her parents are conservative Muslims, she doesn’t have the same freedoms as he, a rich white boy, does. And he listens to her. He respects the rules she has to follow. He respects the fact that their relationship, after they decide to do things for real, will have to be a secret from her parents. But my favorite thing is that they both help each other grow. Both of them have issues with their families, and although they seem very different from the outside, both require Karina and Ace to confront their families about feeling pressured to make certain choices to make their parents happy. They build each other up and make each other brave so that both of them have the confidence to talk to their families and speak their minds.

6. The poetry. I absolutely LOVED Karina’s poetry interspersed throughout the story. It was so gorgeous and really gave great insight into her state of mind. And Unshakeable was so beautiful, especially when she was able to finish it. And don’t even get me started on Ace’s poem!!!! I burst into tears at the end of that, so I’m not even surprised Karina had to run from the classroom.

Okay quick spoiler-free rundown of what I loved about this if you skipped the novel I just wrote above:
1. Fake dating
2. Anxiety rep
3. Cora and Nandini=A+ friends
4. Dadu!
5. Karina + Ace’s relationship
6. The poetry

Honestly I was getting super "10 Things I Hate About You" vibes throughout this whole book, so I definitely need to watch that again, because it’s one of my favorite movies EVER.

COUNTING DOWN WITH YOU releases May 4th, so please join me in pre-ordering this wonderful, swoony, funny, beautiful debut to support Tashie Bhuiyan. If you can’t do that, request it at your library. Either way, get it into your hands because you do NOT want to miss this book!