I wanted to love this book so much. When I heard about the rep, I was instantly sold and even bought myself a copy, which I rarely do. But unfortunately, this book made me feel super uncomfortable at times, and the romance was disturbing and creepy and just not for me.

I did really enjoy the writing and the plot of the book though. It's written in first person, which I don't normally like in fantasy settings, but Kamai's head was easy to get into and it also helped that we just had her POV. The descriptions though...were out of this world. I honestly felt transported into the book. They were rich and detailed and so easy to picture. I can see why some people wouldn't be a fan of the writing style. Sometimes the descriptions were a bit too long, but since I read this book slowly over the course of 15 days, it didn't bother me as much as it might have if I read the book in a few sittings.

The plot was fascinating, and the world was so unique. I will admit that the first time I attempted to read the book I did find the world to be a bit confusing, but it just takes some time getting used to. The plot was what really saved this book for me. It definitely picked up more in the second half of the book, but I loved seeing Kamai's relationship develop with Nikha in the first half. And while I really hate Vehyn, he does make for a pretty good villain.

The one scene that made me super uncomfortable was when Lenara almost forcibly outed Kamai? At least that's how I found the scene to be. I would have been more okay if it had just been Lenara and Kamai and Nikha. But Zeniri's comments originally made me super uncomfortable. And even just seeing Kamai having to come to terms with something so personal in front of a group of people was a bit triggering? All the sexual comments too were hard to read and made me very uncomfortable.

The romance was just ... It's super problematic, and while Kamai does acknowledge that Vehyn is manipulative and abusive, she's still drawn to him. And I, for one, have never been able to understand how characters do this. I've seen it in a lot of books––the main character falling for the tortured, dark soul, who hurts her and abuses her, and it's never made any sense to me. I could have understood if Kamai was faking it, to use Vehyn's feelings against him eventually, but she legitimately has feelings for him and at the end even admits to loving him?? And I know she says something about how her mother taught her that you can't help who you love, but honestly, I don't get it. I can't imagine loving someone manipulative and abusive.

One thing I did like was how the book doesn't end with Kamai going "oh, I'll just give him a second chance." She realizes that no, she can't just trust him like that, that Vehyn needs to prove he's changed, and she also accepts that she needs to heal, which I think was a nice addition. But the romance still made me super uncomfortable, especially this one line that says: "You're my child, my bride, my soul." Honestly, I'm disturbed and disgusted, and even if Vehyn somehow changed, I would not be okay with a romance like this.

The very, very end was cute though, with Kamai and Kihan going off on their own adventures together. I love how comfortable they both are with each other. Their friendship is so pure and soft. And I love seeing how much they care for one another. Honestly, my favourite moments in this book were the ones between Kamai and Nikha/Kihan, especially when Kamai finally opens up to her friend. It was such a great moment, full of trust and vulnerability, and was definitely the strongest point in this book.

Overall: 3/5 stars