(Review of an ARC via Netgalley)

I enjoyed this one a lot. I thought it was a really compelling and authentic portrayal of a trans teenager, and there was a lot to like about it. Dean's first person narrative voice is really easy to read and to empathise with, and all of the characters seem realistic, except for the bigoted character, who's so over-the-top and adored by all the authority figures despite it that it sometimes did push the envelope a bit. The theatre scenes are also really well done; I don't know much about theatre, but the book gave enough context to make up for that without just dumping a whole load of exposition. That's a hard line to walk, and this book manages it really well. Dean's love for the theatre is palpable and it really does shine through, making his character seem more realistic; so many books tell us that characters have an interest or a hobby, but don't show us their love for it. This book does that.

It also does a good job of showing how transphobia isn't really taken as seriously by authority figures and institutions, and although I think this book probably does need some trigger warnings, it would be disingenuous to present Dean's narrative as easy.

The one thing I sort of hated about this book was how Dean, treats his girlfriend. His girlfriend, Zoe, is a lesbian and makes that really clear throughout the book, and once Dean tells her that he's trans and plans to medically transition, Zoe tries to support him through it and tells him that she doesn't want to break up with him, but later changes her mind because she doesn't want to be with a guy (... because she's a lesbian.) Dean takes this really badly and acts like she's the least supportive girlfriend in the history of girlfriends, and many of his friends (and thus the narrative in general) affirm his perspective, saying that she's behaved terribly by telling him how she feels. But the thing is, the only way for her to affirm his gender is by ending their relationship. If she stays with him, then the underlying message is that she sees him as a girl. She never tells him not to transition, never says she sees him as anything but a guy, and is obviously affected by the fact that the person she's in love with isn't the gender she's attracted to. I really felt like the book did her character a huge disservice, and it made me really dislike Dean towards the end.

Still, it didn't change the fact that this is a really great book overall, and I think it's fine to have a messy protagonist; no-one's perfect, after all. I just wish that Dean's viewpoint had been challenged a bit more because he didn't really seem to acknowledge that his transition, whilst obviously something entirely personal and right for him and, in many ways, no-one else's business, was still inevitably going to affect other people in his life. Part of that might just be down to the fact that he's a teenage boy, though.