This book made me deeply uncomfortable, sad, furious, exhausted. It takes a lot of skill for an author to evoke that much in a reader all at once. I like how raw and honest the portrayal of Frida's ordeal was, and how processing grief and one's own mistakes is presented as a non-linear, messy process. 

Frida isn't a likeable character. She's convinced us of it on page one, and she's convinced herself of it long before. As someone whose mother made mistakes she deeply regrets, and as someone who has had many conversations with her about what those mistakes did to both of us, I genuinely feel for Frida. I've seen other reviews condemn her, and it's really interesting to me where a reader would draw the line on what they find unacceptable in a parent, and how much they're willing to dehumanise a mother/discredit her emotional needs, when they learn the mother has made a mistake that caused her child harm. I'm not trying to excuse abuse, it's just fascinating how quickly someone's empathy for a person, and their sense of nuance, disappears when the person in the wrong is a parent. I mean, people are rating the book lower because the protagonist has done something wrong and that makes the book supposedly bad. The point is right there, guys, come on...

The way blame is placed in the book is interesting to me, too - how the women are treated as irredeemable, and how the state would rather interfere once harm has been caused (and arguably proceed to traumatise the child even more) than offer parents mental health support before mistakes like this can occur. It's infuriating to experience and to process, and when the fathers were introduced, I became so much angrier knowing how much easier they supposedly have it. 

The ending is tragic and inevitable. I don't know how else Chan could have ended this book. Frida's unravelling is addicting, and sad, and I couldn't look away the whole time.