You had me at “skin-crawling folk horror” and “sapphic romance.” I was ready to clutch my pearls on a cursed island with Tian, Liya, and Shenyu. I mean, a reclusive songstress with hypnotic siren-y vocals? A bodyguard with a beastly secret? A troubled idol with a string of bad boyfriends? Sign me up for this feral fairytale! But, alas, I was promised a gothic banquet and served a half-baked charcuterie board with some questionable cheese. 

Let's start with vibes. Linda Cheng’s got a knack for creepy atmospheres, and I give her mega props for that. The remote island in the South China Seas, with its constant bizarre rituals, creepy smiling staff, and something  not quite human lurking in the forest? It’s giving Midsommar meets The Wicker Man. But then the story itself stumbles like me trying to walk in platform boots after one too many margaritas.

Tian, our leading lady. An ethereal, beloved songstress with a massive online following and a tragic backstory. You’re so perfect, so chosen, so SPECHULLL that I’m side-eyeing you harder than I did my high school prom queen. She’s got this Mary Sue energy that makes everyone orbit her like she’s the sun in a glittery solar system. Fans LITERALLY die watching her livestream (yikes, iconic but underdeveloped plot point), and she’s whisked away to this spiritual retreat to, what, heal her soul? Unravel occult mysteries? Girl, you’re too flawless to be this clueless. I wanted to root for you, but your perfection left me rolling my eyes instead of clutching my heart. 

Then there’s Liya, Tian’s childhood friend and bodyguard, who’s supposed to be this fierce protector with a monstrous secret. Her “beastly” vibe—sharp teeth, ferocious appetite—honestly had me picturing No Face from Spirited Away, but, like, if No Face was hot and brooding. I was ready to stan this sapphic icon, but Liya’s character arc is flatter than my attempts at baking sourdough during lockdown. She’s just… there to protect Tian because of some vague ancestor magic. No depth, no growth, just a loyal attack dog. I kept waiting for her have a personality beyond “must save Tian.” Sigh. Wasted potential, my love.

And Shenyu? Oh, honey, you’re the quirky gay best friend I wanted to adopt. His snarky one-liners are the glitter in this gloomy tale, and I cackled every time he opened his mouth. But that’s all he does—tosses out zingers like confetti and fades into the background. He’s got this messy backstory with bad boyfriends and a brush with the law, but does the book explore it? Nope. He’s just Tian’s sassy sidekick. I wanted more. Give me Shenyu’s angsty island diary entries or a subplot where he flirts with a creepy kitsune. Anything!

The biggest crime? Everyone feels like a satellite in Tian’s universe. Liya and Shenyu don’t get to shine; they just revolve around her, propping up her chosen-one narrative. The island’s blood-drenched legend and Liya’s monstrous identity sound juicy on paper, but they’re rushed and underdeveloped, like Cheng had a Pinterest board of cool ideas but forgot to flesh them out. The sapphic romance between Tian and Liya? It’s there, and I’m a sucker for queer love, but it’s so surface-level I didn’t even get my usual butterflies. I wanted yearning and tension, but I got… vibes.

On the plus side, the folk horror elements are genuinely unsettling. The island’s creepy aesthetic is a mood. Cheng’s prose is lush, almost too lush, like she’s trying to bedazzle every sentence. I respect the hustle, but sometimes I just wanted the story to move faster instead of lingering on Tian’s ethereal cheekbones or something.

Anyway, this book is like that one friend who’s drop-dead gorgeous and full of potential but keeps flaking on plans. I wanted to love it. I really did! But the underdeveloped characters and Tian’s Mary Sue glow-up left me wanting more meat on these brutal bones. 2.5 stars, because I’m generous and that island gave me chills. Pick it up if you’re in the mood for spooky sapphic vibes, but don’t expect to fall head over heels. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to rewatch Spirited Away and imagine Liya as No Face with better hair.