Thank you so much to Saga Press for the advance copy of this!

This book comes out on Sept 9th.

WOW WOW WOW WOW! I don't think I have ever read a book quite like this before. And it really made me question my reading taste. Because I absolutely loved the book. I have never read a book by Andrew Joseph White before but I always wanted to because his book covers are GORGEOUS. I was drawn to this one by the title. I thought it was the most perfect title for a book. I would highly recommend reading trigger warnings prior to reading especially if you are sensitive to graphic themes.

I described this book to a few people as I was reading it and they just gave me a look like "when does this come out?!" or "No thank you." I have been on a quest to find a horror book that made me feel things. Often times I am left not grossed out or underwhelm by the "scariness" of it but with this I WAS SO GROSSED OUT THAT I HAD TO KEEP READING. I was fortunate enough that one of my book friends also was reading it and I could scream about the different things happening to her via DMs.

"Last year, if Levi had offered to disfigure him, it would have been the kindest thing ever done for him. It would have been a declaration of love. Nobody had ever loved him so much they would do something terrible on his behalf."

Crane. Oh baby boy Crane. I just wanted to give him a hug throughout the whole book. I won't describe too much about what I'm about to talk about as I think as a reader you need to read it first hand but there was a part of the book where Crane talked about how much they hated the way that they look and the extreme measures they wanted to put themselves through to change that image. My gosh my heart broke and just made me so sad that that was how much he truly didn't like himself. White's choice of making Crane not only autistic but mute worked so well for the storyline. We are very much in Crane's head the whole time and the things that go through his brain was just so fascinating. And all I kept thinking was "are there people who think like this?" The answer is likely yes which makes it sad. Crane has such a low self esteem and truly finds acceptance and some version of acceptance in the worst ways.

The relationships in this book are so interesting! My two favorite side characters were Tammy and Stagger. Tammy was the mom of the group and was so nurturing to them. She truly was just trying to survive and keep everything as sane as possible. Stagger was this friendly giant whose only job was to guard Crane to make sure they do not harm themselves. He seemed to be on Crane's side with things and it felt like he wanted to have some sort of relationship with Crane.OH I also did love Crane's high school friends Aspen and Birdie. There was a moment where I was about to throw my kindle that involved them but luckily no kindles were harmed while reading.

Fuck Levi. That is all.

I left out a lot of details of what happens within this book in my review on purpose because I truly feel like you need to go in blind for the shock value. I finished this book a few days ago and I wanted it to settle before I had written my review and it truly has stayed with me. My only small (okay maybe big) qualm with the book is that I wish we got an epilogue. I have questions and perhaps the author wants to leave it up to our interpretation but COME ON.

Andrew Joseph White you made me a fan and I will be reading your next adult book (and of course go back to read the YA books). Once again please make sure to check the author's content warnings as there are many MANY graphic scenes. Also if you do not like worms, that may be your first sign to bow out.