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Where the Dead Wait by Ally Wilkes
5.0

A huge thank you to the author, NetGalley, and Atria Books/Emily Bestler Books for providing this e-ARC in exchange for an honest review.

It’s not a doomed Arctic Exploration without cannibalism and queer longing, am I right, ladies?

We follow disgraced ship captain William Day, who when the real captain died, became the leader of an Arctic exploration where their only chance of survival was by feeding on their dead comrades. While Day is seen with revulsion by the general community, his second-in-command Jesse Stevens is seen as a hero who found help for the remaining survivors. Day is haunted by this past, and lives hidden in shame away from anyone who might recognize him - or the monster he had to become to survive.

But now Stevens has gone missing in those same doomed Arctic waters, and Day is the only one determined to find him - and keep him from having to repeat those same actions 13 years ago.

As Day follows in Stevens’ footsteps, he unwillingly uncovers the past he tried to hide so well from both the public - and himself. Forced to confront the truth of what happened 13 years ago, and the true nature of his relationship with Stevens, can Day grow from his past and move on from his mistakes, or will he succumb to becoming the monster everyone already thinks he is?

I loved this gothic novel about the hopelessness and isolation of the Arctic, that forces the reader to really confront what they’d do to survive.

His relationship to Stevens is complicated and tragic, and we can only imagine how both their lives might have been different (as well as everyone else’s) had the two never met. Day begins the novel quite literally haunted by Stevens, and seeing him as the better part of himself - but as the book continues we start seeing Stevens as he truly is as Day confronts the reality of their relationship, and his complicity in his actions.

It’s not really related, but I think “Just a Man” from Epic the Musical fits Day’s internal monologue throughout this novel extremely well. He’s never certain where he ends, and the monster begins - and whether or not he’s only simply fooling himself into believing he’s better than he is. I thought of these lines multiple times during this novel, as Day reveals and uncovers more and more of what happened, and his actions, during both the doomed original exploration, as well as the current one we are on.

But when does a comet become a meteor?
When does a candlе become a blaze?
Whеn does a man become a monster?
When does a ripple become a tidal wave?
When does the reason become the blame?
When does a man become a monster?


This book is perfect for anyone who likes doomed gothic fiction where there’s never really a happy ending to be had, but there is a resolution. The isolation and temperatures of the Arctic set for a perfect location for the depravity that unfolds when all hope is lost and rescue is impossible.