I received a free digital copy from the author/publisher via Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Amber is 24 years old when she arrives home after college to work for the summer before eventually moving to Seattle with her fiance. But everything changes for Amber when she goes out with her best friend Tyler and he rapes her. This is a harrowing but important story about a woman hurt by someone she trusted the most and her conflicting feelings towards the incident and herself, including who is really to blame.

This is a tough but important read and I liked how the story was told. I think it's really important to have stories like this to show that sexual assault and rape can happen closer to home - such as by best friends who you've known for almost half your life. Amber trusted Tyler and she loved him in her own way but he didn't listen to her when she said stop and when she said wait. And I liked the message that came across here - especially when Amber was talking to a therapist who explained to her that if she said stop and he didn't it was rape, if she had been with a boyfriend for years and one day she said no but he had sex with her anyway, it was rape, etc. These messages are very important for women to know that if something similar happened to them, they are not in the wrong.

Amber goes through a lot of conflicting feelings from shock, denial, pain, fear, confusion, guilt. It all goes through her and her reactions may seem strange to readers but I liked how it was all stemmed from her desire to remain in control of herself. Amber had other issues related to a severe teenage eating disorder and she still had to deal with it everyday - so when Tyler took away Amber's self-control in that moment, we see how she spirals back to obsessively being in control of herself from her eating habits to any other sexual experiences she has with other men. I thought Amber's background and how it all related to her career choice and she balanced her adult life with eating and exercise was done really, really well.

Tyler was a bit of a different story. For a while he across as a victim as well -his dad isn't a nice guy and is clearly emotionally abusive and manipulating and this has affected Tyler, more than he actually realises. He deals with anxiety and it's clear a lot of his interactions with women are problematic. He has a 'girlfriend/sex buddy' who he doesn't respect and their first interaction was hugely problematic for me as well as it seemed to me like he coerced her into having sex when she didn't want to too. Tyler suffers from anxiety as well, and doesn't have great ways of dealing with it the way Amber does with the problems she still has related to her eating disorder. Because of all of this, Tyler didn't just become the rapist of the story but he also became human as well, and while it doesn't excuse what he did at all - I think it was a brave choice on the author's part to show that the perpetrators could be dealing with their own issues, confusion and guilt over things as well - particularly when it's a case of sexual assault and/or rape by a close family friend/member.

I liked that at one point in the story, Amber meets with a lawyer her parents contacted who gave her some advice on what she could do to report Tyler. He gave her some information about things she could do that wasn't necessarily a court case and I feel like this information wasn't just for Amber but for any readers who might have had such a thing happen to them but afraid of going through a court case. I liked that the author gave this information in such a way.

I did feel like there was a bit too much build-up to the 'moment' that it happened t was 40% through before the night of the rape and before that we just got a whole load of Tyler and Amber's childhood together. I also wasn't a huge fan of the ending - it was all a bit too easy and I don't feel it was realistic. Most rape victims will have to try and convince a judge of the rapist's guilt and would go through a terrible time getting their name and sexual history dragged through the mud.

Overall, this is an important story and one I think needs to be told more. I do recommend people read it.