The only thing I knew about this story is that "here's Johnny!" meme where he sticks his face through the door. I've wanted to experience this book for a long time and, well... I can say with 100% certainty that this story is way too overhyped. I expected more and was left very disappointed.

This story is way too long and very boring. It was a struggle to stay focused instead of zoning out or nodding off. Both of the parents are annoying as hell, too. The sexual shit is completely unnecessary and only degrades an already bad story. I mean, look at this:

[He squeezed the accelerator like the breast of a much loved woman.]

Or:

[His testicals turned into 2 small, wrinkled sacks filled with shaved ice.]

He is driving a car, no one cares what his balls feel like or that he's picturing a boob when he presses the accelerator. And Jack "playing" with his wife when their small child is less than 5 feet away, asleep? That is disgusting and not a mental image I want in my head.

It feels like he had zero faith in his story so he had to interject these weird, random sexual moments just to keep readers interested because, as we all know, sex sells. It's gross and very jarring.

Not to mention it took nearly 50 chapters - 50! - before anything remotely interesting happened and it only lasted for, what, two or three chapters? It just slogged on and on and felt like it would never end.

And then Wendy, the holy mother who loves her kid soooo much:

"It's too late."

Bitch, that is your child! Your 6 year old child! I don't care if it's "too late" get your ass in that elevator or up those fucking stairs and try to save him! What kind of mother just gives up like that? I hate her. Actually, I hate everyone in this story except the kid.

Also, I love how Hallarann shows up and is immediately taken out. He was described as a large man with the shine and you're telling me he was immediately destroyed? Hell, tiny little Wendy took more damage than he did! Absolute trash.

I hate this book.