i am MAD
so let me first say that this was a re-read. i first read this in 2018, and finally decided to re-read. and let me just say i am disappointed. booktok hyped this up, and my nostalgic love of this book was shattered.
im going to say it - this is not a slow burn, this almost reaches queerbating levels. like im sorry,

Spoiler

you have the main characters get together with fucking 60 pages left? "oh its supposed to be soul-crushing and upsetting and make you mad like you're feeling right now!" no im mad because it was so fucking hamfisted. mateo never even shows an incling that he is gay, and rufus only mentions in his bio he's bi. not to mention they have no romantic chemistry - they have platonic romance coming out the wazoo, but their romantic chemistry was like nails on a chalkboard for me. and im literally a lesbian so

i was CRAVVIINNNGGG the gay..... but this did not deliver. im so sorry this was such a pitiful example of queer novels not solely about romance. i also did not really care about the characters until about the last 80 pages, because only then did i find this interesting. this was not thrilling to me - i was just waiting for them to die so it could be over. however, i did enjoy myself at times, and the last 80 pages did eat, but cmon. ur book is ~370 pages and i enjoyed only about 80 of them.
also can i just say the other chapters of other people are unnecessary? i don't care about peck's mindset or deliah. i could give less than two shits about the gym bag guy, or the creator of last friends.
anyways this was an ok book. the writing was nice at times, and i loved it when the lads were bonding, it was really sweet. as a lgbt+ book however, this was not great.