Thanks to Libro.fm and the publisher for my free ALC! I really enjoyed this memoir in essays by Aussie social worker Erin Riley. It’s a really nice balance of the personal and more political aspect of their work - trying to help vulnerable people best they can in a system that only values you if you’re able bodied and actively contributing to our capitalistic society. 

Much like Beautiful Monster which I read a couple of months ago, Erin made space for their transness later in life. It’s heartbreaking to think they put other people’s comfort first for so long, but reaffirming to read where they’re at in their gender journey now - thriving!

Erin and I have a lot in common when it comes to our love of routines, so I really felt validated by the essay where they discuss how it’s okay to feel more safe and happy in a domestic setting than say, jumping out of a plane. They don’t come off as condescending (as in, look at me, you can do it too!!) even when they do branch out and conquer their fear of ocean swimming, and I love that they still value the importance of their routines and order. I get so much joy from my little habits and routines I do every day, but sometimes they can feel small - in a bad way. Erin’s words really helped me see them in a new light. 

Some of these essays will put you through the emotional wringer. Their mam and dad’s behaviour at the wedding?? Omg my heart broke for them, their mam thought it was a good idea to dredge up all of Erin’s trauma from childhood, as well as misgender them countless times. Their dad then proceeded to go on a rant about how they/them pronouns offend him as an English teacher like… We use they/them in the singular all the damn time when the person’s gender is unknown, but okay. I’m so glad Erin has such an outstanding community of queer found family to support them, but that doesn’t make the sting of their parents’ rejection any less painful.

it does sound like they’re taking steps to make amends now though

Overall, a gorgeous contribution to the queer memoir club!!