I am afraid of opening to someone. Just a sliver of intimacy makes me flee. When I sense people getting closer to me, I end up panicking and sabotage that relationship. I am messy but I am also real. When Ava in Exciting Times was excited that neither of the people she liked had her secrets, I felt that in my bones.


I think self-sabotage is a major millennial trait. The books that I have been reading lately can be categorized as millennial fiction. And one of the common things among them is self-sabotage. You know whenever some characters call out the protagonists on their self-sabotaging habits, I feel personally attacked. It's like we are okay with ruining a good relationship just because it reaches a close intimate point.


As a person who has struggled with these issues, I can tell you how vulnerable it gets. Sometimes I do it willingly just to avoid any form of intimacy. Then I wallow in my guilt. Because I am so done with having to feel safe that I have to hurt others. Oh well, the joy of self-sabotage is addicting than heroin.


The moment I finished Exciting Times, I sat there not knowing what to do. To be honest, I didn't enjoy this book that much. But the sheer intensity of the writing made me flinch. Exciting Times is unapologetically millennial. It explores sex, being a queer, privilege and my favourite trope, self-sabotage.


I can't vouch for Dolan being Rooney-esque, since I have not read any of Rooney's books. But in her choppy sentences with punctuated similes, I find comfort. The characters are a mix of unlikeable mess. They are a perfect blend of nihilistic, cynic, narcissistic and hypocritical traits. Though the book is not an exceptional one for me, it made me realize my toxic tendencies which I conceal with a smile.


With that being said, I didn't like the characters a bit. The books were problematic at different levels. It feels like the setting was included just the stake of having a diverse location. I do relate with the characters but they sure do some questionable things and I don't know whether to slap them or comfort them. But hey, that's the charm of this book I guess. You don't love it but you don't hate it either. At the end of the day, we all do questionable things to get through life. So who am I to judge?