this is the closest i’ve ever been to being genuinely triggered by a book. it’s also the most i’ve ever seen of myself in a book, which is probably why it hurt so much to read. it was near torture listening to every self destructive coping mechanism that i knew too well, that i let drag me down into a hole that took me years to crawl out of. my heart hurts for the little girl i used to be. i wish she got to be a girl for a bit longer.