1.5 stars because I barely finished it.

I'm gonna be totally honest - I didn't even enjoy this book a little bit. I feel like I read a COMPLETELY different book than the millions of people that seem to have ranted and raved about it since it came out. The literal only reason I finished it is because several of my friends and family members have read it and gave it 4+ stars. The summary of the plot is actually more interesting than the book itself.

I'll start by saying I know this is a translated book, and I hope that maybe the translation just doesn't hit the same way as the original text. I don't know, but this was one of the slowest books I've ever read. The plot didn't pick up until the last third of the book. Prior to this, all we get are long, boring, monotonous conversations where Henrik and Mikael discuss details of the case and introduce and name every single existing and potential offspring of the Vanger family going back to the year Christ was born. I have had an easier time keeping up with the cast of an 800+ page fantasy book than I did in this "thriller".

The characters were lifeless and we got so much weird background into some of the characters that felt totally superfluous and provided nothing to the dimension of the characters, if that is what the author was trying to do. The fact that Salander and Blomkvist didn't even meet until SIXTY PERCENT INTO THE BOOK is criminal. The author was really hoping people would give his book enough of a chance to make it that far into the story, because the rest of it certainly wasn't compelling.

Also, was Steve Jobs Steig Larsson's secret lover??? I don't know anyone who would give that much free advertising without getting something good on the side in return. ENOUGH ABOUT THE iBOOK. PLZ.

I am open to hear your objections, but just know I had a bad time reading this.