I bought this last year on a whim and decided to dust it off, include it in my TBR for Mental Healthathon. I wish I didn’t. The mental health rep isn’t good in any way, and honestly, I can see this being one of my least favorite books of 2020.

For a dystopian, the world-building is awful. The story supposedly takes place in the near future, but I don’t know when or why. Teen suicide has become an epidemic, with one in three committing. There’s no explanation provided other than the flimsy, once-mentioned possibility that antidepressants were over-prescribed and something went wrong. Thus, the Program was born, where any minor showing symptoms of depression — which, apparently, is contagious — can be reported and admitted. Basically, the Program gives these teens various medications until their “toxic” memories are gone and they’re released, under surveillance, into the world as a “clean slate”.

Even without dissecting the horrendous portrayal of depression, there are so many things wrong with this. When and where does this happen? Why did teens suddenly start committing suicide? Why just teens? Was this an international epidemic or specific to a certain country or region? Who created the Program? Why do they have so much power? Is the Program also the government? If not, is this government the same as what we have now?

Additionally, why do adults hold all the power? Someone says something about a kid being depressed and the Program is called to take them away and “heal” them. Why not ask the kid how they’re feeling and give them actual therapy? Doesn’t anyone realize that a setup like this one is more likely to scare minors away and spark distrust, thus causing them to bury their emotions until they feel they’re out of options? Or is common sense not allowed in dystopian settings, because the plot would be ruined otherwise?

There’s also the matter of QuikDeath, which is apparently a drink that kills someone almost instantaneously. How was that created and how are teens in a society like this one able to get their hands on it? Do I want to know what it is? Does Suzanne Young know what it is?

All dystopian elements aside, I just didn’t enjoy this book. Sloane was an average protagonist and I didn’t particularly care about her. James, I believe, was meant to be charming, but he just annoyed me with his arrogance and hot/cold attitude. If I ever liked guys like that in books, so help me. He was ridiculous. His relationship with Sloane felt more like codependency with lots of kissing and occasional sex than an actual romance.

There wasn’t a love triangle, exactly, but in part three Sloane is caught between James and Realm, a guy she met at the Program. Realm is his last name, but for some reason he goes by that. Anyway, to put it simply, it was petty and annoying. James was jealous even though Sloane and Realm were never properly together. Realm was some other kind of mess I don’t particularly feel like unpacking.

One thing that I didn’t see any discussion of that seemed especially vile was in part two, in the midst of Sloane’s time in the Program. One of the handlers, Roger, offered to give Sloane a pill that would help her — keep one memory in exchange for a kiss. She specifies that she’ll only kiss him once, and he agrees but demands it be passionate and convincing. Oh, and he decides how long it will last. She agrees reluctantly, tells him she hates him, to which he replies that he “likes a challenge”. The whole scene was uncomfortable to read, completely revolting, and I’m shocked no one thought it needed to be removed prior to publication. I know this was published in 2013, but come on. Surely we still had at least some standards back then? That wasn’t even ten years ago, but here we are. I don’t care if it’s there to “further the plot” or if the guy gets punished. No.

(To clarify, Sloane is not raped. No clothes come off. It’s still horrible, though.)

And while we’re on the subject of plot, well, there wasn’t much of one. Part one was a rushed exposition, and parts two and three were quite repetitive. Hardly anything notable happened. Hardly anything happened, period. I finished the story more out of curiosity than any true interest or investment.

I think that covers everything. Despite my many criticisms, I didn’t hate this book. I think its overall mediocrity and my indifference toward it played a part in that. I feel like a book should make me feel something if I’m going to give it one star, like I should truly, passionately loathe it for some reason or another. This book was just a bunch of poorly executed ideas and elements strung together, proof that some books should just fade away as the years go by.

CW: depression, self-harm, suicide, suicidal ideation, sexual harassment/borderline assault