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beeostrowsky 's review for:
The Bride Test
by Helen Hoang
The Bride Test is everything I hoped it would be and even a little more. I'm autistic and I loved The Kiss Quotient, so I was nervous about being disappointed by a "sophomore slump".
I needn't have worried, as The Bride Test was another brilliant love story with real, authentic depth in the autistic character. I can't speak to the immigrant experience, and I've never known poverty, but I've seen grief over the loss of a brother (my best friend from high school lost his brother, as did my wife) and that felt real too.
And I've struggled with really believing that I love the people I've had serious relationships with, too. Like Khải, I've had to reason my way through it: I feel this way and that way, and as far as I can tell that's what allistic people mean when they talk about romantic love. I'm sure it isn't the exact same experience for any two people, so I shouldn't downplay it because of variations. So I really felt seen when he constantly told himself that it wasn't love, that it couldn't be, because he doesn't work that way. I felt seen when he repeatedly acted in ways that he saw as fair or generous to Esme because he wanted what was best for her, wanted to respect her agency, wanted never to say anything that wasn't true — even though she saw it, through her own allistic eyes, as a painful rejection. Their love story inspires me and I might just have to go read it again from the beginning. Maybe right now.
I'm so grateful to the author and publisher for giving me a review copy on NetGalley.
I needn't have worried, as The Bride Test was another brilliant love story with real, authentic depth in the autistic character. I can't speak to the immigrant experience, and I've never known poverty, but I've seen grief over the loss of a brother (my best friend from high school lost his brother, as did my wife) and that felt real too.
And I've struggled with really believing that I love the people I've had serious relationships with, too. Like Khải, I've had to reason my way through it: I feel this way and that way, and as far as I can tell that's what allistic people mean when they talk about romantic love. I'm sure it isn't the exact same experience for any two people, so I shouldn't downplay it because of variations. So I really felt seen when he constantly told himself that it wasn't love, that it couldn't be, because he doesn't work that way. I felt seen when he repeatedly acted in ways that he saw as fair or generous to Esme because he wanted what was best for her, wanted to respect her agency, wanted never to say anything that wasn't true — even though she saw it, through her own allistic eyes, as a painful rejection. Their love story inspires me and I might just have to go read it again from the beginning. Maybe right now.
I'm so grateful to the author and publisher for giving me a review copy on NetGalley.