sometimes, you re-read your old favourites and they're just as good as they were the first time. other times, they... aren't. case in point: this was 5 stars when I first read it.

okay, so I get that Carson being an asshole who turns slightly more decent is the point of the book, and I admit he has SOME complexity. but mostly he's an obnoxious straight white guy who thinks he's better than everyone and being "brilliant" equals being mean to everyone he meets. he implies being asexual is something negative, he makes jokes about transvestites and the Holocaust, and he's just generally That Guy who everyone wishes would shut up, but he still thinks he's smarter and better than everyone else.

yes, he also does good things. he makes some good points about the problems in education. he gives some good advice and says some inspirational things- although the straight guy telling the two closeted gay guys with homophobic parents in a small town that they should just be themselves and "we are all a minority" is... eh.

there are some things I liked, like the progression of the story for grandma and all the submissions in the magazine that show people as actual complex people that Carson refuses to see them as, but most of the book was just... not fun to read. (Nicholas's poem is the best tbh.)

I also don't understand the point of the ending to be honest, and since that's the thing the story culminates in, I guess the whole book was lost on me. I love the quote the mother gives to the newspaper, but otherwise it felt pointless.