Sit tight, strap in and buckle up because it's a long bumpy dark rollercoaster ride. Can I just say the way I went from loving this to hating this to loving it again and then hating again was giving me a whiplash?

Minor spoilers below!

I was loving the relationship between Blake and Ryat in the beginning and then around 300 pages in, we get the big misunderstanding. I mean I get it, it's a dark romance, of course there has to be a misunderstanding. Otherwise how would the FMC disobey and make the MMC angry enough to punish her? But what pissed me off was when Blake kept believing her ex's word over the Ryat's. Like the same ex who has done nothing but lied to you about EVERYTHING? Sure Ryat hides a shit ton of things from you but he hasn't outright lied to your face. Hasn't Matt proven over and over again that he just wants to hurt and humiliate you? But of course, she listens to Matt.

At this point, I'm so annoyed with Blake but we carry on. Then the story and romance picked back up and I'm in love again. But of course, the author throws another curve ball at us and now I hate it again. Every scene that LeAnn is in has me SEETHING. This woman is so annoying, I can't believe I ever felt bad for her. And the plot twist about their marriage added nothing to the story tbh. I truly don't care if you were married or divorced or separated or fake married other people, we don't care. Phil Anderson is also a horrible father and a complete wimp to his wives - like if your daughter is at risk, stand up and protect her like a man. Blake really had the worst luck for parents (bio or otherwise). 

Honestly, the biggest disappointment I had with this book was discovering what the Lords really were. I guess I was expecting once these men pass the tests and become a Lord, it would mean they're men in power and they're political/underground kings. Lowkey was thinking they would basically be like Mafia bosses. But it's essentially a cult and even if you're a Lord, you get summoned randomly, ordered around and given missions to fulfill. So despite the Lord title, they're not mafia bosses but rather henchmen in the mask of a powerful man to the public.

The amount of times I was absolutely flabbergasted at how helpless the Lords were... Like please tell me how you're powerful but you can't do abc or xyz (esp you, Phil). And I'm not talking like human trafficking or r*pe or drugs - rules against these make sense, there are Yakuza and Mafia gangs that outlaw these. But I'm talking about the fact that they can't choose their own marriage partners, they can't protect their kids from essentially being sold, they can't prioritise their child's birth over a mission, etc. Like how is this powerful? This is the opposite! 

Maybe I'll learn more about the Lords' lore in the next books but so far what I have learned, I'm not impressed by at all. I did enjoy and love some parts of the story but there were moments I wanted to scream and throw my kindle at the characters themselves. Truly a dark rollercoaster ride.