There is so much going on in here. A bit too much! Death, grief, parents who can't parent, lying, actual trauma. Do we have to have YA novels filled with so much conflict that it leaves you dizzy trying to figure out who the protagonist is. I think that's part of the problem. I felt like I was being forced to want to root for Maia. So many hints were dropped about "who she used to be" but we never get to see which that was. I ended up feeling like she was living a life and had this poor me attitude throughout. Yes, she was grieving the death of her sister, but it didn't connect for me.
On the flip side, I felt that Chris was a more realistic character. I would have preferred an #ownvoices author though. Much of it felt real and true. The dysphoria, conflicted emotions, tension. But other bits felt odd. Maybe it's my own cis viewpoint, but at times I felt that he was characterized as a cis Male with cis Male privilege, and then the author would occasionally add in--oh, I know how that felt as a girl, so I have to be mindful of how I present as a Male-to not make it seem that way. Chris was a mix of what I thought were authentic reactions/actions/emotions and not.

Now onto the parents.

I am tired of the parents fall apart and leave the kid to take care of themselves trope. It doesn't do justice to the grieving process, and makes me wonder if all teens feel like their parents are going to "disappear" if tragedy happens. It does nothing to show that there are many faces of greif and the process of grieving. If you are going to introduce such a huge arc of sibling death, then in expect more.

Chris's dad seemed right on appropriate. But his mom???? Again, let's throw in a story arc because it's what is expected- trans kid not supported by their parent(s). Yes, that is a reality. I see it every day. But to have mom be supportive of everything in Chris's life until the point he realizes his truth??? And then a year of her being in opposition and them he is gone two months and comes back and she is all good?? It just doesn't add up. Her point about grieving who Chris was as a girl and the projected future she had put on him is real. From personal experience that is a true process. But this went to an extreme that didn't seem in character. I didn't buy it.

As a parent of a trans kid, I pick up these novels to try and help me understand and relate. While I appreciate the story line of a normal teen relationship for all, my over all impression is that there was too many story arcs that distracted from that.

I received an ARC copy of this book via NetGalley.