It’s been three days since I finished this book, and I can’t stop thinking about it. The cover is my phone’s lock screen. I’ve talked far too much about it to the two people around me willing to listen, and checked the author’s Instagram page multiple times for any extra content and sequel news I can find. The new book I’ve started hasn’t managed to take my mind off of this one. In between writing this, I’ve already given in and reread all of my favorite scenes. The chances of me doing that repeatedly while I wait for the sequel are high.

I can’t remember the last time a book had such a monumental impact on me. You see people say books have altered their brain chemistry. I think this one actually did alter mine.

I don’t know if I can do it justice, either. The story is thrilling, the world-building creative and impressively thorough, and the characters. Gods, the characters. To put it simply, they’re phenomenal. I absolutely adore these boys. I liked Niko from the start, and was increasingly curious about Elliott because I knew there had to be more to him. And there was. In the end, while I love both of them to pieces, I might love Elliott just a tiny bit more. If Niko and I have one thing in common, it’s that we both want to give him a hug and protect him from the big, bad world. It’s what he deserves.

I also love the way they continually subverted expectations, both as individuals and as a couple. It’s hard to explain without spoilers, and I’m not sure I could do it well anyway, with one exception. You wouldn’t expect a bounty hunter and an assassin to be so exceedingly tender with one another, yet they are. I think my heart grew three sizes every time they had a soft, sweet moment.

Niko pulling Elliott down into his lap to give him a hug might actually be my favorite thing ever, especially when they stay like that for a while. And don’t even get me STARTED on Elliott calling Niko “lover”. It made me so absurdly happy every time, and now I’ll never be able to look at Taylor Swift’s song or album the same way.

Funnily enough, I didn’t feel this way immediately. Through the first half of the book, I was conflicted. It was a fun read, I knew I was enjoying it, but there were details I was unsure about. I also remember thinking there just wasn’t that inexplicable spark I needed to truly fall in love with the characters and their story.

And then chapter eleven happened. Even though the story took one of a few paths I had suspected it might, something else happened, too. I don’t know exactly what. Only that, suddenly, I had a very different perspective. I was rooting for these boys, I loved them more than words could ever say, and I was more invested in their story than I had been in anything else in quite a while. I was in it for the long haul.

Now, yes, there are still a couple of things I could nitpick. The first half of the book was somewhat formulaic. The big bad felt more than a little bit shallow, like evil just for the sake of being evil. But the book as a whole was fun, and I think—I hope—the story will evolve as the trilogy continues. So, I’ve decided I don’t care. It doesn’t need to be perfect if it can get a reaction out of me, and this one made me feel the full range of emotions. It might well end up being my favorite read of the year.

All of that to say, I’m Team Starhawk (IYKYK), and my new goal in life is to get as many people to read this as possible, because my boys deserve the world.

Representation: