Allison is an inspiring writer who moves to 

L. A. in hopes her life will all fall into place. Shes spent the last few years drenched in the grief of her brother’s untimely and unexpected death, forcing her to deal with her unpredictable parent’s feelings on her own. Shes ready to be her own person again, no longer tied to the twister that is her families emotions. But there is something so isolating in L. A. and her brother’s life and death keep coming back to her. After a chance encounter with famed radio personnel Reid Steinman, Allison becomes enticed by his spell. Quickly falling in step with each other’s lives, Allison never admits to Reid that he’s both her brother and dad’s comedic idol. Allison gets so entangled she befriends Reid’s daughter forcing her to balance her romantic feelings for Reid and a gnawing passionate desire for his daughter. 

First time, long time is a gruelingly relatable tale of trying to find yourself after living your life for everyone, but your self. It’s about taking up space of your own instead of shrinking yourself to uplift those around you. The stories are pragmatic and clever leading you to empathize with the characters. I very much enjoyed this read, the flashbacks read seamlessly to me braiding the present with the past. 

This is a perfect meditation on depression and how it’s passed through generations especially while untreated. We see so many slices of Allison’s life until finally she is a whole person. 

I recommend this book to readers who love messy characters, familial dramas, books by Melissa broader and Anna Dorn. 

Thank you Grand Central Publishing and netgalley for this eARC in exchange for an honest review.