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readingwhilemommying 's review for:
We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America
by Roxanna Asgarian
Oof. I knew this book would be upsetting going in, but I honestly didn't plan for the feelings of fury and frustration it also evoked.
You most likely remember the news story. Jennifer and Sarah Hart, two white moms, adopted 3 biracial and 3 Black children and, after years of reports of abuse, drugged themselves and their kids and drove their minivan off a cliff in CA, killing everyone. This comprehensive and compelling book explores this tragedy through the lens of the children's birth families and the many failings of the foster-care and adoption systems. Asgarian shows off her immense journalism talents with this riveting nonfiction read.
In this book, readers are introduced to the birth mothers of each trio of kids. We hear about the addiction and mental health issues that brought them to a TX court system that favored terminating parental rights (and denying fit relatives custody), while ignoring and excusing years of allegations of abuse by the Hart parents. We hear about the older sibling who wasn't adopted and his spiral into addiction & incarceration. We hear about a white TX judge who hired his cronies, while saying shockingly racist things to the parents of color who appeared before him in court. We hear about how the birth parents weren't told that their kids were dead. We go with Roxanna as she works with Jennifer's devastated-yet-empathetic father to give parts of the ashes of 5 of the kids (Devonte's remains were never found) to their birth parents.
From every angle, this story is heartbreaking. How systemic racism and socio-economic inequality affected the birth families. How even reporting on the Hart murder-suicide crafted a narrative that rationalized their actions as those of two "overwhelmed" mothers. But, most importantly, how 6 young lives were the casualties of systems and laws that put punishment over help and bureaucracy over humanity. Markis, Hannah, Devonte, Jeremiah, Abigail, and Ciera are the true victims in all of this.
If you like reading books that shine the light on the humans behind headlines, this is a must-read.
You most likely remember the news story. Jennifer and Sarah Hart, two white moms, adopted 3 biracial and 3 Black children and, after years of reports of abuse, drugged themselves and their kids and drove their minivan off a cliff in CA, killing everyone. This comprehensive and compelling book explores this tragedy through the lens of the children's birth families and the many failings of the foster-care and adoption systems. Asgarian shows off her immense journalism talents with this riveting nonfiction read.
In this book, readers are introduced to the birth mothers of each trio of kids. We hear about the addiction and mental health issues that brought them to a TX court system that favored terminating parental rights (and denying fit relatives custody), while ignoring and excusing years of allegations of abuse by the Hart parents. We hear about the older sibling who wasn't adopted and his spiral into addiction & incarceration. We hear about a white TX judge who hired his cronies, while saying shockingly racist things to the parents of color who appeared before him in court. We hear about how the birth parents weren't told that their kids were dead. We go with Roxanna as she works with Jennifer's devastated-yet-empathetic father to give parts of the ashes of 5 of the kids (Devonte's remains were never found) to their birth parents.
From every angle, this story is heartbreaking. How systemic racism and socio-economic inequality affected the birth families. How even reporting on the Hart murder-suicide crafted a narrative that rationalized their actions as those of two "overwhelmed" mothers. But, most importantly, how 6 young lives were the casualties of systems and laws that put punishment over help and bureaucracy over humanity. Markis, Hannah, Devonte, Jeremiah, Abigail, and Ciera are the true victims in all of this.
If you like reading books that shine the light on the humans behind headlines, this is a must-read.