It PAINS me to give this book a 1 star rating. I read Robin Talley’s “Music From Another World” and absolutely loved it. So I was very disappointed when this book didn’t live up.

The things I liked about this book:
1) Robin Talley has a talent for awesome book titles
2) It’s gay

Unfortunately, that’s really all I can list. I have too many negative things to say, which makes me sad because I SO wanted to love this book.

I found Mel, the protagonist, to be really annoying. She’s not a good friend, has a very black-and-white way of thinking, and she’s rather whiny. I kept with it because I was hoping this would be a character arch where she would turn into none of those things, but I don’t really think that happened. I kept waiting for her to get over herself and become a caring human being, and she didn’t for me. It’s hard to like a book when you don’t like the main character.

I didn’t feel like any of the characters were anything more than 2-dimensional cutouts.

I’m pretty heavily involved in theatre, and I am so sad at how it’s portrayed in this book. Right off the bat, we are given descriptions like “he waves his arms in that actor-way that makes the audience gasp.” (This is not verbatim, just the idea of what was said). Like…have you ever BEEN to a live theatre show? That doesn’t happen. Audiences aren’t this reactive to every single line of a show like the book makes it out to be. Some audiences aren’t loud or responsive (FYI - that doesn’t mean they aren’t enjoying it). But NEVER does an audience react to everything that happens. They don’t laugh if a light cue is off - they probably don’t even notice it!

Also, the whole “us versus them” mentality of crew versus actors is ridiculous! I tried putting this aside for story-sake, but it was SO HARD. Everywhere I’ve been or heard of has actors and crew members intertwining where a Stage Manager was an actor in a previous play. Or an actor is on costume crew for another show. Of course, there are some people who are strictly actors or strictly crew, but there’s so much overlap. There really isn’t this huge divide between actors and crew like Mel constantly says, and it made me really sad to read about a protagonist with such a narrow-minded and cruel way of thinking.

The story itself made me eye-roll and question so many things. Like…WHERE ARE ALL THE ADULTS IN THIS THING?!?! Mainly during performances. I know it’s supposed to be a high school production, but with as many kids involved and teachers/adults listed, there seems to be no adults around when there should be? Mel even mentions there’s a director. When Rachel comes into the booth DURING A SHOW to break up with Mel (it’s the first chapter - not a spoiler), there is no adult! Mel flubs some light cues and this breakup convo goes on for what seems like 10 minutes. The one adult that was in the booth left for some reason, and everyone can hear the breakup over the headsets, but are you seriously telling me there isn’t another adult on the headset telling Rachel to get the fuck out of the booth and finish the show before having this drama?!?! The director never makes an appearance, really, once rehearsals start. It’s all up to the kids to make the show happen, and it’s just so unbelievable.

The writing felt so childish. I know it’s written for young adults, and I’m not really a young adult, but it even felt childish for THEM! The dialog was cringey, stilted, and unnatural. People just don’t talk that way unless it’s Sophia the First.

It really does pain me to give this gay ya novel a 1 star, but I don’t think I have any choice