Perhaps if I’m feeling generous (or like appeasing the people who rated this highly, because I can see the reasons why), I will give this a 3.5.

As my 3-star rating is now, though, that was a significantly higher rating than I thought I would give for this book, based on my reaction to the first 60-90 pages. Simone was unnecessarily icy about Ray—which was excruciating to be in the thoughts of, they hadn’t come out yet so there was the constant (unintentional) misgendering, Ray was teetering close to the edge of being overly cheery, and I couldn’t tell whether Luna was playing off Simone’s aversion/tenseness about Ray as a crush to fuck with her or if it was genuinely a “love at first sight” thing Simone was oblivious to. (If it’s actually the second thing, I’m throwing my phone.) But when the rest of the plot covered in the summary/blurb was actually happening, and the cooking videos Ray and Simone made were shown, that was a ton of fun to read about! They had some great banter, and the occasional input from the camera crew was just as fun. (Especially when that crew became Ray and Simone’s friend group, and there were these different moments where they would share a pie Simone made or bond in-between off-location video shoots.)

And despite Simone’s feelings being obvious after a couple chapters—this is a short book, clocking in at 308 pages—her relationship with Ray was still relatively slow-burn in that they didn’t actually get to do any kind of confession or have (purposefully) disgustingly domestic, romantic days together until the end. I appreciated that we actually got to witness their workplace friendship developing, too.

HOWEVER, there is a major reason why I gave this book a lower rating, despite finding parts of the romance cute and the story (mostly) fun. Yes, it is essentially just Simone. Her allyship flip-flopped between being meaningful and being flimsy. While I appreciate how the ending scenes handled Ray’s gender, and it felt like Simone was seeing them for who they were(phew), for most of the book, I would have intensely disliked being in a relationship with a cis person like her??? She made such an embarrassingly big deal about pronouns after Ray came out, and sometimes, it felt like she dwelled too much on what being nonbinary meant to Ray than actually seeing them. Even if she didn’t ask any of the invasive questions running through her head, I still had to read them because she thought them and I was still annoyed. And LORD do not get me started on how she treated Ray being uncomfortable with opening a discrimination lawsuit against their company!! I am so glad she realized her response was out-of-line, Ray had valid reasons for having to stay, and actually talked about that for a bit with them but that was infuriating.

Also, while I get that Simone’s wage was measly, she should have found some other way to compensate Luna for the emotional labor of being her only other source on trans things. You use Google for cooking stuff and, hell, even figuring out how to care for Ray after their top surgery!! Why couldn’t you use that for gender-related questions, too?!?! She just made this book feel like it was written for/by trans allies, despite this being written by a nonbinary author.

But aside from that. A reason I gave this a rating above 2 stars, besides the last third being great, was how the toxic workplace was written. It showed how performative corporations can be in their inclusion, and how they perpetuate harassment in their “handling” of it. I could definitely believe those HR emails are things shitty companies have sent their employees. (My experiences are limited, employment-wise. Forgive me.)

And, of course, Ray was a darling. I really loved them and I think the story could have benefitted from making this dual-POV. Not because I think they’re hot(but I do, just hear me out because I hate that art style on the cover. Also, where are their curls that are described a dozen times?!?), but because I think it could have avoided feeling like it was more about the hardships/pitfalls of being an ally.

Some parts of this were sweet, though, like how Simone cares for Ray post-top surgery, and the conversations she had with them about that surgery beforehand. I may or may not have squealed exactly one time. Sorry.

I think I’ll check out TJ Alexander’s other works. But ones that don’t have a cis MC. That didn’t go terribly well.

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pre-review:
STARTED THIS BOOK AT MIDNIGHT AND FINISHED IT AT ALMOST MIDNIGHT!!! ALMOST EXACTLY 24 HOURS! I’M A ROCKSTAR