Um, this baffles me.

It seems that adults can't agree on the message. I think I have to lean towards the minority here. Existing solely to be used by others, and giving your love and care until you are diminished into almost nothing seems an odd, disturbing, and unhealthy idea for a children's book. It's like the tree is a mother, who just stands there and lets the boy suck up her energy. The narcissistic boy only comes to the tree when he needs something, and finally the tree almost ceases to exist after submitting itself to endless abuse, because it has forgotten that sometimes it's okay to do things for yourself. Classic martyrdom, an attitude that never fails to amaze me. In a bad way.

Or maybe this is a cautionary tale? You should not become like this boy etc. The boy is after all an idiot, who uses the tree as a commodity and a bottomless well. Unfortunately the tree allows itself to be used as a doormat, so the giving continues. However, I found no hint whatsoever anywhere (even after repeated readings) that this was meant to be a cautionary tale.

Oh well. I doubt children are going to be traumatized by this, and you can always discuss with your child while reading, but ultimately a book with a clear (not too dumbed down!) positive message that can't be misinterpreted might be a better choice. Let's celebrate relationships where both parties give something to the table. In my personal life I have seen relationships like the one of the tree and the boy, and they always end up in tears, once in a police car driving away from an abusive husband. Realizing that some actually consider this book as the ideal model of a relationship is sad and depressing. Just because you have your own hobbies and your sense of self intact, doesn't mean you don't care about others or your children. I just don't get why someone would want to become a mere shadow of themselves, and hide in corners apologizing for their existence.