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lory_enterenchanted 's review for:
I'm Glad My Mom Died
by Jennette McCurdy
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
tense
fast-paced
Reviews and more on my blog: Entering the Enchanted Castle
The first part of this book was extraordinary, as McCurdy recounted her years in the thrall of the mother of all narcissistic mothers, not judging or commenting on the events, but building a devastating picture of how a child who is made responsible for an adult's happiness is warped and disfigured by that role. This could serve as a psychological case study of a dysfunctional family and of "the necessary delusion" that keeps a person from recognizing they had an abusive childhood. McCurdy did have a sense that something was wrong, at least from the time her mom started encouraging her anorexia at age 11, but the layers of self-protection and deception that build up in a child who is not protected or nurtured by her caregivers kept her from breaking free for many years. In fact, she says she could not have broken free if her mom was still alive. (That's the reason for the title -- and while expressing that feeling breaks a huge taboo in her culture, I think she's absolutely right to feel that way.)
The second part, after her mom's death, felt incomplete, with a large gap skipping over most of the healing process. After some unsuccessful attempts, with a first therapist who in my opinion engaged in unhealthy, enmeshing behavior (though McCurdy does not comment on this) and then unskillfully tried to get her to confront her mom's abuse, the focus shifts to how therapy partly helped her overcome her eating disorder, but leaves all the many other complex issues along with that aside. McCurdy decided she was going to get better, and then suddenly she was better, and able to walk away from her mother's grave.
What happened? How did she get there? That's what I'd like to know. I'm really glad that it seems McCurdy was able to overcome her eating disorder and reclaim her life, but it might be helpful for anyone going through similar issues to know more about her journey. However, she seems to have decided to keep that private, and that's her right of course. It just made an odd gap in the narrative for me.
The first part of this book was extraordinary, as McCurdy recounted her years in the thrall of the mother of all narcissistic mothers, not judging or commenting on the events, but building a devastating picture of how a child who is made responsible for an adult's happiness is warped and disfigured by that role. This could serve as a psychological case study of a dysfunctional family and of "the necessary delusion" that keeps a person from recognizing they had an abusive childhood. McCurdy did have a sense that something was wrong, at least from the time her mom started encouraging her anorexia at age 11, but the layers of self-protection and deception that build up in a child who is not protected or nurtured by her caregivers kept her from breaking free for many years. In fact, she says she could not have broken free if her mom was still alive. (That's the reason for the title -- and while expressing that feeling breaks a huge taboo in her culture, I think she's absolutely right to feel that way.)
The second part, after her mom's death, felt incomplete, with a large gap skipping over most of the healing process. After some unsuccessful attempts, with a first therapist who in my opinion engaged in unhealthy, enmeshing behavior (though McCurdy does not comment on this) and then unskillfully tried to get her to confront her mom's abuse, the focus shifts to how therapy partly helped her overcome her eating disorder, but leaves all the many other complex issues along with that aside. McCurdy decided she was going to get better, and then suddenly she was better, and able to walk away from her mother's grave.
What happened? How did she get there? That's what I'd like to know. I'm really glad that it seems McCurdy was able to overcome her eating disorder and reclaim her life, but it might be helpful for anyone going through similar issues to know more about her journey. However, she seems to have decided to keep that private, and that's her right of course. It just made an odd gap in the narrative for me.