“Everything she does without me is an act, a fucking way to get through the day. I know it because I do the exact same thing. " - Jax Stonewood

It's past 2 am, I'm ready to crash but my brain will not allow it until I get all these words out within minutes of finishing this book.

First, please understand that I'm not a fan of second chance romance. It hurts my heart to see love shattered or ripped away. Sure, it's satisfying to see the couple work it out and get their HEA but the road to it is just so broken.

Second, MAJOR SHOUT OUT to the author Shain Rose who shed light on the horrors that occur on Native American reservations and educating readers on the overlooked issue of Missing Indigenous Women. How many times have we seen the news follow the loss of blonde haired, blue-eyed, all-American woman such as Natalie Halloway and Gabby Petito while the masses remain ignorant of many indigenous women and women of color who simply disappear like ghosts and the families are forced to accept the loss or fight and demand for justice only to have their cries land on deaf ears?? In the author's note, Shain states that she used real stories, by real women. This knowledge defiantly made a lot of actions hit harder.

Aubrey is a complex female lead. Due to the abuse, she suffers her true nature is stifled and at times we get peeks of her straightforward, honest, quick-tempered self. But like a switch she gets triggered and retreats into herself and puts on the mask of being the perfect, soft-spoken, mild-mannered lady of culture.

Having just read the Mindfuck series prior to this book I couldn't help but label Jax Stonewood a profiler. He is a people watcher, a manipulator, and an alpha personality with some REALLY BIG DICK ENERGY. He was a chameleon, a sweet talking, caring, romantic one chapter and an arrogant, douchebag the next.

- Side bar- I read Heart of a Monster and Love of a Queen first. While these books are able to be read as standalones, I highly suggest anyone who has never read a Shain Rose book to start with this one. It introduces sooo many characters and lays an incredible foundation that will provide even more clarity and impact while reading that duet. --

I liked Aubrey and Jax together. My heart hurt seeing their trauma and struggle to survive in life. I appreciated that both characters had physically moved. It annoys me when there's a long period apart and then when the couple reunites the girl says something along the lines of saving herself for the guy or that there's been no one else. Aubrey and Jax are real life. Their conversations about sex and the magnetic pull they have is probably the most laid bare honest shit one will ever read.

Shain has a way with her characters that keeps them authentic and relatable.

Now that I've praised the book. Can I just say that Aubrey let me down? She had so many moments in this book that I was super satisfied and wanted to buy her a congratulations shot. But towards the end she became paranoid, irrational, and made poor choices. She was so fixated on herself that she completely overlooked important details and dates, she picked fights in my opinion, and was just very extra and dramatic. I was not happy with the last 20% of the book at all. I actually got so annoyed I had to take a step back and watch Reels for a good 20 minutes before going back to finish the LAST 15 pages.

That was disappointing. Please understand that I'm not saying this isn't a book worth reading or that the ending is bad because for some who aren't super put off by irrational decisions and behavior that rush to the end may be there. But for me it just wasn't. Jax fed off of Aubrey's negativity and the toxic oozed out of them.

The biggest irony of this book is the entire reason these two parts is because they don't want to be toxic. However, when I read the first 25 % and their time together, I didn't see ANY toxic behavior. Maybe a bit of enabling but I feel like it was part of their healing and could have easily been worked through. This little tidbit could be another reason why the ending was so difficult for me.

Overall, I fell in love with the entire crew and want to read all their stories. I adore Shain for giving us real life adversity and truly focusing on the advocacy of women and children.

Highly Recommend