content warnings:

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racism, bullying, homophobic slur, ableist language (incl. “cr*zy”), underage drinking, infidelity, slut-shaming, past depressive episode, past suicide attempt by OD, rape joke

rep:

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Black (Haitian) French Canadian MC, Indian-American LI [Aarti] & parents, gay minor character [best friend Evan], minor M/M & F/F relationships, diverse minor characters

Let's start with the positive: what I did love about this book is the rep. While I can't speak to the Black or Canadian rep, I really love that Norris and Aarti bond over having immigrant parents (Haitian and Indian, respectively) and not feeling like they belong among their classmates. Their relationships with their parents are closer than we often see in YA, which I appreciated. And there's a scene around the climax that really hit me hard:

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after his mom bails him out of jail and, still shaken up, reminds him how lucky he is to be alive after mouthing off to a white police officer, because that's the world we live in

.

The main storyline is probably about what you'd expect, based on the synopsis and standard genre tropes. It was engaging enough, if not surprising, and I mostly enjoyed the little anthropological entries,

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excerpts from Norris's journal

, at the beginning of each chapter.

I think my biggest issue with the book is with Norris himself, specifically the fact that he never seems to make a good-faith effort to make things work or to actually change in response to a series of top-notch callouts. At first I was cautiously optimistic about him despite many reviews to the contrary, and I honestly wasn't too bothered by his antisocial behavior or his sulking — it was the judginess and self-righteousness that I found frustrating, and the fact that the ultimate lesson learned seems to be

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you don't have to change your behavior or mindset as long as you apologize for previously hurting people

.

The love triangle I saw coming from a mile away, even if Norris didn't, and while its execution is pretty par for YA, I was not a fan. Both of the girls are YA archetypes with slight twists:

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the Manic Pixie Dream Girl with Indian immigrant parents, the nice-to-a-fault cheerleader who becomes the MC's best friend in Austin

. And it's bad enough when female characters/writers matter-of-factly pit girls against each other — whether by

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calling each other catty/bitchy or competing for a boy's attention or, in this case, both

— but it's borderline romanticized here. (We do get to see that

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Norris may have misjudged Meredith, who is fiercely loyal and protective of Madison after shit goes down

, though it hardly counters all the sexist remarks that continue through the end of the book.)

And seriously,

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kissing someone even though you know they're seeing someone else

is not the only way to confess your feelings, and

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if a girl doesn't want to go out with you after you broke her heart, it's not a challenge to change her mind. No means no

. There's also an underlying message that friendship isn't as good as a romantic relationship, which is obviously not unique to this book but which I find absolutely exasperating.

So as YA contemporary novels go, it's fairly standard except for the ownvoices rep — which, to be clear, is still underrepresented in general! Thus I would encourage people to give this book a chance, because authors from marginalized communities deserve the chance tell these kinds of everyday stories too.

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CONVERSION: 8.2 / 15 = 3 stars

Prose: 5 / 10
Characters & Relationships: 3 / 10
Emotional Impact: 6 / 10
Development / Flow: 5 / 10
Setting: 7 / 10

Diversity & Social Themes: 4 / 5
Originality / Trope Execution: 2 / 5