In a society where women are still fighting for their right to abortion, Annie Ernaux’s 1999 memoir of an illegal abortion she was forced to turn to in 1960s Paris serves as a stark reminder of what women might be forced to return to - and what for many is still their only choice. Realising she’s pregnant at 23, Ernaux recounts the three months after, trying to find someone to perform an abortion when it’s outlawed, attempting it herself with a knitting needle, finally finding an abortionist and ending up in life-threatening condition.
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I cannot praise this book enough, and I applaud Ernaux for speaking out on such a personal and intimate topic. You can sense her pain through the words, and even through a layer of translation, which is testament to Tanya Leslie’s skills. She doesn’t dance around the subject, deliberately slowing down her memories as she unpicks every moment, every feeling, every thought from those hellish three months in the 60s.
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Reading this on the train, I felt physically sick at some of the graphic descriptions, but we need to read it. We need to be aware of the realities of backstreet abortion. In comparison to what so many women like Ernaux go through, what is a few pages of discomfort if it helps us understand? There’s no restraint, it’s visceral and real - so consider this your trigger warning.
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It’s slim, less than 100 pages, but the impact this one had on me will stay for a long long time.