For a trans woman in the UK, there's immense bravery in putting your soul on the page. Love in Exile is a heartfelt exploration that gives those who come after something that Shon Faye didn't have herself. The book's core insight and ability to look at oneself tongue-in-cheek are outstanding. When most think of love, they think of their romantic relationships, but arguably, the key part of Shon's writing doesn't come from these experiences; it comes when she talks about the other ways to love in all its forms. From friendships to motherhood, these insights leap from the page.

Having already read extensively on these subjects, expecially from queer authors, the book didn't give me anything new in the way I thought it would. Perhaps the most unexpected chapter was around religion, something I wouldn't have expected to be included. Although an odd one to include last, the subject of spirituality as a form of love is refreshing to see in a book like this. As more and more turn away from organised religion, we lose the community and spirituality that comes alongside it. Though Shon largely speaks of her return to a form of individually practised Christianity, I wholeheartedly hope that this chapter helps people to think about their version of spirituality. For me, it takes the simple form of spending time outside in nature. Though Shon only speaks about Catholicism, spirituality doesn't have to equal religion.

This said, I was left feeling that Love in Exile could easily be the start of something more. Alone, it isn't quite there. Though saying this, does there need to be? Nothing particularly 'out there' is included, but this doesn't seem to have been the intention. It's a book for those still finding their way, and goodness me, is it not a breath of fresh air to find a book on love that feels like a healthy goal is in sight? When did you last read a decent tome on ponderings of love in all its forms, let alone one from a Trans female perspective? Its lack of further analysis into love is exactly why it has so many five star reviews for being concise and lacking in the waffle that books about love usually thrive on. 

Quite often these days, I read a book that I'm sure my younger self would have idolised. However, being that I'm no longer the hurt young soul I once was, Shon Faye's analysis of love in all its forms doesn't quite hit the same way. A younger me would have been hit much harder by Shon's effortless dry humour, vulnerable honesty and lived experience. But today? It's knowing that the next person to pick up her book will experience it the way a younger version of myself would have.

Love in Exile is an exploration of love filled with heartfelt insight and honesty. It'd make the perfect gift and would have the potential to start the healing of a heart. In its very essence, it's a lesson in loving oneself.


A big thank you to Shon Faye, Penguin Press UK - Allen Lane and NetGallery for the opportunity to leave an honest review.