Older Sister. Not Necessarily Related. by Jenny Heijun Wills is the final book I read as part of a buddy read series on transracial adoption. Characteristic of all the books we’ve read together, this was a stunning and heartbreaking book, an excellent conclusion to this hugely educational discussion series. ⁣
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Told in short diary-esque vignettes and letters, Wills paints the story of meeting her Korean family almost thirty years after her adoption by white parents and childhood in Canada. She explores her evolving relationship with her birth parents and siblings, and their relationships as well. Wills was the product of an affair between her mother and her married father and their relationship ended after her birth, but surprisingly her reaching out to reconnect with them leads to their reconciliation after as many years without contact. Unfortunately this isn't a wholly happy ending to the story, as she and her siblings worry over the power her father wields over her mother. ⁣
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Wills’ style is beautifully poetic, but her relationship to her family and Korea are complicated, often deeply painful, and colored by loss. She touches also on experiences of racism growing up, but her adoptive family are mostly absent from this narrative since it focuses on her Korean family and takes place in large part in Korea. Her relationships with her younger sister and mother are unique treasures, and she thoughtfully explores the beauties and difficulties of those connections. Weaving together pain and hope for eventual healing, this book was a special thing to read. I highly recommend the experience. ⁣
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Cw for rape, self harm, disordered eating