As part of this years Reading Women Challenge, one of the bonus tasks was to read a book by Jesmyn Ward - who it shames me to admit that I had not heard of until I read her name on that list - which is how I came across her books. It took me reading the blurb for this book just once to be caught; officially on the hook, and definitely settled on reading it even though I could already tell its words would have the potential to hurt. And oh, do they hurt.

I'll be honest: I cried a lot while reading this book. My emotions went for a ride. Reading about the history, even knowing what I do from extensive research and reading in regards to the horrors placed upon those deemed 'other' by the hands of white hate, was gut-wrenching. People always talk about racism like its in America's past, but that past was not as long ago as people like to think. This book highlights that all too well. It also highlights that it most definitely doesn't just remain in the not-too-distant past either. It has continued to exist, and as our current political situation will tell anyone with half-a-brain who opens their eyes - it exists today. That it went away was just a myth especially in regards to certain areas of the south, and don't be fooled, as someone who was born and raised in the north I've seen proof all my life it exists here too, especially when racists go around flying the confederate flag calling it a 'rebel flag'. It is a reality faced by many still in the good ol' US of A, especially by the African-American/Black community, every day of their lives and Jesmyn Ward does a wonderful job of showing how its used via politics, economics, education, and more to continue to oppress. She talks about it as if it is an entity haunting every step and as you read about the experiences of herself, and her community, it seems the most accurate representation especially as women such as her mother find their lives seeming to repeat those of the women that came generations before. Or men like her father, her friends, her cousins, her brother find their footsteps occasionally walking a similar path. It almost seems inevitable, no matter how hard it's being fought against in the first place. Systemic racism is pervasive, and a reality, that many who don't live it choose to ignore and as long as it is ignored things will continue to stay the same; nothing will change in the grand scheme even with as much progress as we like to pat ourselves on the back for making.

There was mention elsewhere that suggested not seeing more of these men's lives, of Jesmyn Ward's life made it impossible to understand or connect; that in order to the full stories needed to be told - I disagree. I strongly disagree, actually. I think the nuggets of their lives interwoven with Jesmyn Ward's own experience from child to adulthood are perfectly told. They're genuine and deep, and each time she, or one of these men, experienced some form of a loss(a moment of childhood innocence lost, a move to a new place, a loved one dying, etc.) I felt it with her. To me, this memoir written in such a fashion makes the point that we do not need to know every single detail of a human being's life to understand or empathize. That we do not need to know every step they took to see that they were a human being who deserved more, who deserved not to feel like nothing. That they tried to fight against the circumstances handed down to them generation after generation by circumstances beyond their control even when it seemed futile.

Anyway, I could say a lot more, but I'm trying not to write spoilers or make this a novel in itself. Instead this is the last thing I'll say:

I'm truly glad that I came across her name on that reading challenge list, and that it lead me to this book. Even though it was not an easy read, it was worth every shed tear as I experienced grief(which, as someone who has lost loved ones, Jesmyn Ward describes in one of those most accurate ways I've ever read), every gut punch moment that took my breath, every moment of rage that made me curl my fist for the disgusting pride racists take in being ignorant. This is definitely a book that has had an impact and will stick with me.