Read in a day so clearly something kept me going. However, I have a strong suspicion that that ‘something’ was my refusal to have two DNF’s in a row. 

It did pick up for the last 50ish pages (minus the epilogue) but I still felt the need to make good on my declaration to ‘finish this book and then lob it across the room’. 

I’m in generally a bad mood for a number of reasons so forgive my bluntness when I say that this is a book that tries to tackle too many topics without a skilled enough author to pull it off. ‘Not exactly what I had in mind’ is 50% social commentary with a hyper focus on climate change (a worthwhile topic but utterly shoehorned in) and 40% cliche. 

The main couple live in the miscommunication trope whilst being not that believable as a couple. Are you really interested in each other, or would you be better as good friends? They’re sweet to each other but there is zero sexual chemistry. 

Speaking of sex. I am not opposed to it in the my books, in fact I’m known to quite like a bit of smut, but this felt like the author included sex scenes purely for brownie points - she’s not getting any from me. They’re are not well written and were ultimately all quite sad. We’re introduced to the two main characters as they’re hooking up, literally on page one. This felt like a ‘ha, got you! Now you’re invested!’ It was a cheap trick. 

Emily, Hazel’s sister, and her wife, Daria, are trying for a baby. However, the way they go about this is being absolutely on the hunt for a sperm donor all the time. I can’t comment on the realism of this process, and I understand that it was intended to highlight the difficulties, frustration, setbacks and, I’m sure, feelings of desperation involved but instead it made them feel (and act) almost predatory, no-one is safe. 

There is also commentary on toxic relationships and revenge porn. Important topics but lacking the impact because a) they were introduced quite late and b) you’ve already been bombarded with everything else. And, if you’re me, C) the overriding feeling while reading is frustration and rage. 

The ending was rushed with everything and everyone being perfectly reasonable and settled in their decisions. More time should have been taken throughout to develop and wrap up their threads. 

I also want to speak to the epilogue and I am going to sound very catty while doing it (sorry!): suddenly there are all the names in a new setting, an unspecified time after the main event. And … it’s set during lockdown. What, why, when??? But in many ways it made perfect sense that this was highly likely a pandemic project … I’ll leave it there.