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calarco 's review for:
The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
by Bessel van der Kolk
If you or someone you know lives with trauma, if you want to understand the effects of trauma, or even have questions/confusion related to the complex nature of PTSD, then I HIGHLY recommend Dr. Bessel van der Kolk’s [b:The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma|18693771|The Body Keeps the Score Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma|Bessel A. van der Kolk|https://i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/books/1397425897l/18693771._SY75_.jpg|26542319].
Dr. van der Kolk’s work covers a wide range of trauma that can occur for people including the effects of childhood trauma, sexual assault, incest, veteran's war-time trauma, and so many other realities that can be shameful for survivors to discuss or even think about. Never comparing pain, he details how each of these forms of trauma, and resultant PTSD, for a multitude of patients he’s treated throughout the years impact different elements of their livelihoods—he makes good on explaining the book’s titular premise of how, “the body keeps the score.”
Most notably, are the emotional and even physical effects that trauma can have on different individuals, and how these realities can differ from societal expectations. Trauma and PTSD are often depicted in the media as past tragedies that just need to be remembered and vocalized and BAM—you’re cured! That may work in a televised drama, but in reality, the past is ever present in the present. Vocalizing past victimization does not inherently result in catharsis—for many it can actually result in further isolation.
“Talking about painful events does not necessarily establish community—often quite the contrary. Families or organizations may reject members who air their dirty laundry; friends and family can lose patience with people who get stuck in their grief or hurt. This is one reason why trauma victims often withdraw and their stories become rote narratives, edited into a form least likely to provoke rejection.” (246)
I think this insight is why it’s so important not to push people to deal with their issues before they are ready, as well as in a setting where their stories can be safely received. There is nothing neat about trauma, and there is certainly no quick, magical fix. Even the ways in which people cope can further reinforce trauma. Dr. van der Kolk is especially good at detailing how this works in cases of childhood trauma:
“Coping takes its toll. For many children it is safer to hate themselves than to risk their relationship with their caregivers by expressing anger or by running away. As a result, abused children are likely to grow up believing that they are fundamentally unlovable; that was the only way their young minds could explain why they were treated so badly. They survive by denying, ignoring, and splitting off large chunks of reality: They forget the abuse; they suppress their rage or despair; they numb their physical sensations. If you were abused as a child, you are likely to have a childlike heart living inside you that is frozen in time, still holding fast to this kind of self-loathing and denial.” (281)
It’s rare for me to cry when reading works of non-fiction, but the very real stories and testimonies of Dr. van der Kolk’s patients are genuinely heartbreaking. Especially given how people carry this trauma in their bodies throughout their lives, never truly feeling safe. “Safety and terror are incompatible.” That said, this work is also incredibly hopeful. Dr. van der Kolk discusses different methods of treatment, and avenues to healing. Hope is ever present.
Overall, this book is really great and definitely has my recommendation.
Dr. van der Kolk’s work covers a wide range of trauma that can occur for people including the effects of childhood trauma, sexual assault, incest, veteran's war-time trauma, and so many other realities that can be shameful for survivors to discuss or even think about. Never comparing pain, he details how each of these forms of trauma, and resultant PTSD, for a multitude of patients he’s treated throughout the years impact different elements of their livelihoods—he makes good on explaining the book’s titular premise of how, “the body keeps the score.”
Most notably, are the emotional and even physical effects that trauma can have on different individuals, and how these realities can differ from societal expectations. Trauma and PTSD are often depicted in the media as past tragedies that just need to be remembered and vocalized and BAM—you’re cured! That may work in a televised drama, but in reality, the past is ever present in the present. Vocalizing past victimization does not inherently result in catharsis—for many it can actually result in further isolation.
“Talking about painful events does not necessarily establish community—often quite the contrary. Families or organizations may reject members who air their dirty laundry; friends and family can lose patience with people who get stuck in their grief or hurt. This is one reason why trauma victims often withdraw and their stories become rote narratives, edited into a form least likely to provoke rejection.” (246)
I think this insight is why it’s so important not to push people to deal with their issues before they are ready, as well as in a setting where their stories can be safely received. There is nothing neat about trauma, and there is certainly no quick, magical fix. Even the ways in which people cope can further reinforce trauma. Dr. van der Kolk is especially good at detailing how this works in cases of childhood trauma:
“Coping takes its toll. For many children it is safer to hate themselves than to risk their relationship with their caregivers by expressing anger or by running away. As a result, abused children are likely to grow up believing that they are fundamentally unlovable; that was the only way their young minds could explain why they were treated so badly. They survive by denying, ignoring, and splitting off large chunks of reality: They forget the abuse; they suppress their rage or despair; they numb their physical sensations. If you were abused as a child, you are likely to have a childlike heart living inside you that is frozen in time, still holding fast to this kind of self-loathing and denial.” (281)
It’s rare for me to cry when reading works of non-fiction, but the very real stories and testimonies of Dr. van der Kolk’s patients are genuinely heartbreaking. Especially given how people carry this trauma in their bodies throughout their lives, never truly feeling safe. “Safety and terror are incompatible.” That said, this work is also incredibly hopeful. Dr. van der Kolk discusses different methods of treatment, and avenues to healing. Hope is ever present.
Overall, this book is really great and definitely has my recommendation.