Someone I Used to Know offers an honest & difficult look at the traumatic effects on life & family after sexual assault

It's really difficult to review a book like this. Rape is NOT an easy topic to think about, discuss or read about. It's also not an easy topic to write about Patty Blount has my respect and due credit for this book. Sexual violence permeates our culture at alarming rates so it is a topic we need to be aware of. Did you know that every 98 seconds an American is sexually assaulted? Meanwhile only 6 out of every 1,000 perpetrators ends up in prison. It's fact - I looked it up.

Someone I Used to Know by Patty Blount gives voice to the idea that today's culture reinforces the normalization of sexual violence. I didn't agree with everything presented in the book but I definitely appreciate that she wasn't afraid to tell this story and encourage readers to think about rape and the idea of rape culture.

In, Someone I Used to Know , Ashley is a high school freshman who is raped by a senior football player. He is a boy she had a crush on. A boy she kissed and spent time with. A boy she trusted. It was all part of a football team scavenger hunt. The boys literally preyed on girls for points. It was viewed as a "boys will be boys" game.

The story is told through various points-of-view and goes back and forth between the present and the past. It was easy to follow and it offers us different insight at various stages of the book.

A few things I really liked:
1. Ashley grew from a terrified victim, barely surviving to a warrior. I applauded her growth even when I didn't agree with everything she did. So many instances of sexual violence go unreported because the victims are made to feel as if they were to blame. I applauded Blout's firm stance on this - the victims are NOT to blame no matter what they wore, where they were, or even if they said yes previously. This is a message everyone needs to hear!

"Justice is achieved when those who aren't injured feel as indignant as those who are."

2. I appreciated Ashley's brother Derek's story. He was a great example of what so many people think when confronted with the reality of sexual violence. Their strife was very real and emotional. We saw him go from being so angry he blamed her ("Why didn't you just stay home?") to being a voice for the cause himself. While that may not have been a totally realistic change, I felt that the emotions he went through - blaming himself, feeling like he should have done something, battling his own feelings of inadequacy over not being her hero - those were very real.

3. The depiction of the family turmoil was brutally honest. When Ashley was raped - it affected her whole family. How could it not? Her struggles became their struggles. There was so much anger in each of them. My heart ached for all of them.

"Forgiveness is rarely this once-and-done thing. It's an ongoing battle, a struggle to remember that love is worth more than pain, and that fighting for it matters more than a grudge."

4. Even though the story itself ended on a positive note I appreciated that it didn't sugar coat things and pretend everything was going to be happily ever after. Blount acknowledges that it is a never ending process but one that does get easier with support.

"Every last bit of the pain and shame and guilt and grief I've carried since my freshman year drips from soul, collecting in a reservoir. They're not gone for good though, and I know they'll leak out sometimes. But my dam is stronger now. Higher walls. Reinforced not with concrete and steel, but with unbreakable family ties."

5. Support - Therapists, support groups, family, friends! I applaud that those were all a big part of the the story and not just for Ashley but for her family as well. I think that's an important message. It's so easy for survivors to feel alone. Support is essential.

I'll be honest, some might find the book a bit preachy but this is a topic that needs to be discussed. As a YA book geared for teens I think it does a wonderful job of sending out the right message about life after sexual violence. It's a difficult process, an ongoing battle and one that can be wrought with ups and downs. Sexual violence is a traumatic experience and many people end up with trauma and PTSD symptoms. They have to learn to rebuild their sense of control to be able to move on from their traumatic experience over time.

Thank you to Patty Blount, SOURCEBOOKS Fire and NetGalley for the opportunity to read an advance copy of Someone I Used to Know in exchange for my sharing my honest review.