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books_first_ 's review for:
The Tragedy of Heterosexuality
by Jane Ward
Thank you to Netgalley and the Publisher for providing me with this ARC.
[...] queers are braced for the inevitable moment when a straight woman proclaims, offhandedly, "I wish I could just be a lesbian." Sigh. Why don't you be one, then? some of us wonder. It's not that hard.
I am going to start my review by saying that I am a cis-gendered straight woman and have a lot of queer friends, which I think made me very aware of straight-culture and how it can be hurtful (to everyone involved) and wrong.
When I started this book and it started with a history of heterosexuality and straight culture, I was here for it. I kept nodding and having "AHA!" moments that explained why I am not actively looking for a partner, why I rather be single than with someone etc. etc. I loved it. It was well researched, the points were made clearly, I was here for it.
I was also here for the chapter about "Dating Coaches" because what in the... And I loved the field study. It was great. It was interesting. It was eye opening. Solid 4 star read for me until here (because some of the transitions were a bit forced and it didn't read as elegently as I would have hoped).
And then... Listen. If I wanted a handful (57, was it?) of queer people telling me "straight people are garbage" then I'll just go to a dinner party at my friend's house. And they will be nicer and less arrogant than the rest of the book was.
The writing I felt like switched from informative to being straight up 'holier than thou' and 'better than you' and that irked me to no end. I didn't get anything from the remaining chapters than the quote witch which I started this review "Why don't you then, it's not that hard".
Is not the whole point of the LGBTQIA+ movement that you are who you are and you love who you love and can't change that? I am not here to cry about my feelings being hurt because they're not, I just felt like these remarks were incredibly unprofessional and shouldn't be in a book which I thought to be was a scientific work of gender- and sexuality studies.
In the end, I am giving this book two stars. Because I literally put it down and felt mad at it. Mad at the judgement, mad at the preachy-ness and mad that I'd just read around 100 pages that to me were a waste of time.
However, the first 100 pages were absolutely great, so there is that.
[...] queers are braced for the inevitable moment when a straight woman proclaims, offhandedly, "I wish I could just be a lesbian." Sigh. Why don't you be one, then? some of us wonder. It's not that hard.
I am going to start my review by saying that I am a cis-gendered straight woman and have a lot of queer friends, which I think made me very aware of straight-culture and how it can be hurtful (to everyone involved) and wrong.
When I started this book and it started with a history of heterosexuality and straight culture, I was here for it. I kept nodding and having "AHA!" moments that explained why I am not actively looking for a partner, why I rather be single than with someone etc. etc. I loved it. It was well researched, the points were made clearly, I was here for it.
I was also here for the chapter about "Dating Coaches" because what in the... And I loved the field study. It was great. It was interesting. It was eye opening. Solid 4 star read for me until here (because some of the transitions were a bit forced and it didn't read as elegently as I would have hoped).
And then... Listen. If I wanted a handful (57, was it?) of queer people telling me "straight people are garbage" then I'll just go to a dinner party at my friend's house. And they will be nicer and less arrogant than the rest of the book was.
The writing I felt like switched from informative to being straight up 'holier than thou' and 'better than you' and that irked me to no end. I didn't get anything from the remaining chapters than the quote witch which I started this review "Why don't you then, it's not that hard".
Is not the whole point of the LGBTQIA+ movement that you are who you are and you love who you love and can't change that? I am not here to cry about my feelings being hurt because they're not, I just felt like these remarks were incredibly unprofessional and shouldn't be in a book which I thought to be was a scientific work of gender- and sexuality studies.
In the end, I am giving this book two stars. Because I literally put it down and felt mad at it. Mad at the judgement, mad at the preachy-ness and mad that I'd just read around 100 pages that to me were a waste of time.
However, the first 100 pages were absolutely great, so there is that.