Oh, Peter Grant. I mostly love you, I do. I really enjoy your approach to community policing, your sense of humour, your friendly nature. You are the cop I would like to have as a mate... but like all mates, you've got a couple of topics that you'll bang on about forever, and whenever you talk about roads or transport (or trains!) my eyes glaze over instantly. I realise that you go on about this dreary shit because you care, and I get it: we all have hobbies that other people think are boring.

Luckily, this wee novella also has kidnapping and people stuffed in jars and river children and Abigail, who I'm pretty sure is bored by you and your endless mutterings on how to get about London too, sometimes.