horrorbutch's profile picture

horrorbutch 's review for:

SonofaWitch! by Trysh Thompson, Lissa Marie Redmond, Frances Pauli, Mara Malins, Sara Dobie Bauer, Laura VanArendonk Baugh, Adam Millard
1.0

Disclaimer: I received an e-copy of this book on NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

Like any other anthology, there’s a huge difference in the quality of these stories. Unlike in other anthologies, this one just goes from “absolutely terrible” to “okay, I guess”.
First off, there are typos and grammar mistakes everywhere. These stories would have benefited from actually being proofread a bit more than they were.
However, that was not my only problem. Most of the characters are unlikeable and boring. There are a few stories that were actually funny (okay, like one of the stories was), the rest was boring or disgusting.
I’m going to rate all stories separately, but all in all, I have to say that this collection of “funny” stories about witches disappointed me terribly.

Good Spell Gone Wrong by Laura VanArendonk Baugh: This story actually has a really funny setup but is way too short for all that it is trying to put together. There are some funny things, like the catroach and the story is very fast-paced which works for the sense of urgency they want to achieve. All in all, I think there’s too much going on though and this story would work better if there was actual character development. It’s pretty long compared to most other stories in this anthology, but still lacks quite a bit. 3./5. Stars

The Trouble with Love Spells by Sara Dobie Bauer: first of trigger warnings for sexual assault/rape by deception. And general grossness. And characters you really want to punch in the face. This story is by far the worst story in the entire anthology. In it our main character is so in love with her barista, she tries a spell to make her into something he can love. Cause he ignores her. While he’s at work. Jesus, these assholes working in customer service not flirting with our main character. Because she is, of course, unresistable and everybody should immediately fall for her. But then, the shocking Twist! When she wakes up, she’s… a man. Because our barista is gay. So sad :( Gay people existing in real life and being hot. An attack against heterosexuals everywhere. But hey, instead of learning and not being a gigantic homophobe (because well, how dare he be gay? She’s just so in love with him. Despite never having spoken to him. Despite only ever seeing him at work.), she decides to take him on a date, pretending to be her own twin brother. She has a friend who constantly calls her out on her being a gigantic creep, like you know, pretending to be someone you’re not to get with a person who definitely didn’t want to be with you under normal circumstances. Because well, that’s unethical. But oh no, he’s hot and what can she do except go to his apartment with him and talk about how definitely gay he is for having a Marilyn Monroe poster. And then… she kisses him and they spend the night together (not having sex though, thank god for small miracles. Still gross as hell though.). Because he’s just so hot and wants to be with her now that she’s a man, but who cares about his actual feelings? No one. Her especially not. But when he finds out she’s actually a woman, the only thing he’s allowed to be upset is that she’s a witch. Not that she asked him out on a date, seduced him pretending to be a man, fully knowing he was gay and not into her. (also nice cissexism everywhere, what makes a man a man is obviously the D, always and totally, but hey, what else would one expect from cishets who write a story about a straight woman falling in love with a gay dude and trying to seduce him by pretending to be a man). The worst thing is probably that he just laughs haha witches are real, so cool, let's be friends now. Because yup, being lied to, made to go on a date with someone who's actually totally someone else and them making out with you is certainly the best thing in the world and if anything just a small inconvenience. -5 stars.

All The Petty Curses by Lissa Marie Redmond: An attempt at a retelling where fairytales are real and they all meet in a guy’s café. Red Riding Hood is in an abusive relationship with the big bad Wolf, who can’t help but be possessive of her. Curses and all that can really suck. But fear not. The bartender will save you. A quite boring story, with once more really annoying characters. Why can’t Red just be okay with the fact that Bob Wolfe, her stalker follows her everywhere, when she’s not in love with him? But jeez, he’s hot, she should be thankful! In the end, she realizes, she should have been happy with her stalker because thanks to some fairy magic, she’s cursed with being absolutely beautiful and is harassed wherever she goes. Sexual Harassment is so funny though and definitely something to be envious about! Also, she’s sad to have the man that’s magically bound to her leave her for a new woman. When she has a new boyfriend already. What? All in all, pretty boring again and with unlikeable characters. 2/5 Stars

The Perfect Mate Fiasco by Frances Pauli: This is probably the one story in this collection that’s actually funny. And has characters one can like. In this story, Rowan wants to find her perfect mate. But her dog messes up her spell and well… When she wakes up, her perfect boyfriend is already in her house? And he has a tail. And wants to pee in the garden. Oh no. So where's her dog again? This story made me laugh at times and in the end, Rowan realizes that magic works in mysterious ways. I quite enjoyed reading this and watch Rowan try to fix her mistakes while keeping her dog-man in check. This time the characters are also nice and don’t act like total dickheads just to act like dickheads. It’s a nice change of pace. Also finally a love spell that’s not “I want this person who totally doesn’t like me to fall in love with me” but rather “I want a person who loves me to find their way to me”. Which is certainly way less rape-y and definitely makes for a more enjoyable story. 4/5 Stars

A Matter of Perspective by Mara Malins: This story was probably the most unremarkable of them all. Set in a magic school, we have our underdog and the top student. Due to a mix-up in potion class, they and their teacher end up being transported to another time and place. They have to figure out how to get away from there. Pretty unremarkable and boring. I didn’t really like the characters and they felt very flat without ever getting any depth. 1/5 Stars

A Poppet Named Dave by Adam Millard: Another story set in a school. River has to learn magic, but she’s not really that good at it. But how is she supposed to pay attention when the heartthrob of their school sits near here? He’s so good looking. So of course, the only idea she gets, it’s to take his soul and put it into a voodoo doll. Witches don’t need consent obviously and love spells never go wrong. Instead, she traps the poor boy’s soul in the Poppet, a kind of voodoo doll. Unsurprisingly (or well super surprisingly for her), he’s not really happy with that, especially not since she messed up and actually trapped his conscious in the doll. But of course, he’s a dick, because wow, not falling in love with a witch who trapped your soul in a voodoo doll? And like complaining about it too? Just unacceptable. So, this is another story about a stupid love spell gone wrong and really annoying characters. 1/5 Stars

All in all, a disappointment and quite a lot of boring or plain bad stories. I feel really sorry for the actually funny stories to be included in this mess.