This review is going to be all over the place (and most likely very incoherent), but other than a few personal preferences, I'm hard pressed to find flaws in the technical aspects of this novel. I really appreciated the commentary in this book when it came to themes of mental health, sexuality, expectations of our parents/the greater community, growing up part of the diaspora, and prejudice within South Asian communities. I know the non-linear timelines won't be for everyone, but I really liked how this story was structured. It really indicated the reoccurring patterns that were happening in Nur's life, especially within his relationship with Yasmina. In no particular order, some things I wanted to gush/rant about:

Mental health:
In general, its rare to see men of color portrayed as openly vulnerable with their mental health. Nur's anxiety/mental illness was so well done in my opinion; it was so nuanced and allowed the reader to see how it affected his thought process and the way he behaved without letting it be an excuse for how his actions hurt the people around him. I also thought it was interesting how its heavily implied that Nur's mother shares the same anxiety as him. This goes against the pervasive belief in so many communities that discussion of mental health/mental illness is a new idea, pointing out that its not that people from older generations never had to struggle with mental health, its that they didn't have the language to talk about it and were even more discouraged from discussing it

Prejudice:
I'll just say now that Yasmina is a much better person than me, because reading about some of the situations Nur put her in...let's just say that if I were Yasmina's shoes, his family would have found out about our relationship... by seeing me on the national news. That being said, I appreciated how Kasim Ali was actually willing to go there when it came to calling out prejudice within South Asian communities, particularly anti-Blackness and homophobia. Including the fact that yes, these problems are not limited to the previous generation. In my opinion Ali did a great job of depicting all the different aspects of this.

For example: when Imran recounts how his so-called liberal parents acted like him coming out was a personal betrayal to them. When Nur's own internalized homophobia leads him to make comments about Imran's love life that understandably upsets Imran. Or when Nur's own parents show their own anti-Blackness in their hesitance to accept Yasmina as Nur's future wife until they realize even Nur's Nani is fine with it. And just like Nur, there are still way too many people looking to pass off the blame onto their parents and other elders without also looking inwards to unpack their own biases. At the end of the day, the mere acknowledgement that the environment you came from was intertwined with bigotry does not make you automatically unlearn all of the bigoted things you internalized while growing up. And treating your elders like their prejudiced thoughts and behaviors can't also be unlearned like yours is not an excuse for passively allowing them to keep voicing such opinions unchallenged.

Character growth:
Aside from Nur, I think its safe to say the other characters that are *most* significant characters to the story are Yasmina, Imran, and Rahat. The author intentionally has constructed the story to reflect how Nur can be a bit self-involved and in his own bubble (which is because of how 1. his mental illness affect how Nur thinks about things, and 2. Nur is unwilling to be totally honest with himself in regards to several things for basically the whole story), while still allowing the reader to see and appreciate what is really going on with these characters and how they evolve.

I joked that Yasmina is better person than me, but honestly it was so satisfying to see Yasmina realizing how unbalanced her and Nur's relationship had become/had always been and to have her walk away from someone who she loved and who loved her but ultimately had caused her so much hurt. Even though all throughout the reading experience I knew that this was the only way for their relationship to end up I was still impacted by the emotions of it all and could understand why she stayed with Nur for this long, while also understanding why those reasons weren't enough for the relationship to last.

When it comes to Imran and Rahat, it's honestly a little scary how much I am a combination of the two. For that reason it feels a little too personal to even talk about them, but I did like how they weren't just there to fill the "best friend" or "sidekick" role, and had their own things going on outside of Nur, while still being such good friends to him (honestly better than he deserved at times). In a scene early on in the book, Imran says something about having to fully recognize the flawed reality of the two cultures he was raised in in order to decide what to actually take with him from each, and if I had to choose I would say him and Rahat really were the characters who were most successful in applying that to their own lives. In an interview I read that Kasim Ali put aspects of himself into Nur, Imran, and Rahat, and I think it definitely showed in how real they all felt.

Nur:
I do truly feel that the people who most need to pick up this book are the ones who are like Nur, and I hope he serves as a good wake-up call for all of us who grew up in the South Asian diaspora. Like I mentioned before, Nur's biggest problems weren't his parents or his culture like he wanted to believe; as Yasmina so accurately pointed out, it was him! It was him not ever choosing to be truly vulnerable to Yasmina until it felt like he didn't have a choice. It was him not actively trying to fight for what he and Yasmina had until it was too late. It was him taking the easy way out until the end. It was him not truly reflecting on the biases he himself held, and it was him not being truly honest about himself *to* himself. 

Overall, I am eagerly looking forward to what Kasim Ali puts out next.