The email I wrote to my book club partner after finishing (light spoilers):

When Anna's life started falling apart was when I really started to appreciate this book. It constantly felt like it was calling out to me, "this is what would happen if you made these choices." Because Tanner isn't perfect. He doesn't always show me love the way I want him to. I'm not always happy with my life choices. Sometimes I feel lonely even though I know I'm not alone. But the difference is I can get myself out of my own head enough to know that none of what I'm thinking is true. Or if it is, I can push past it. Tanner does love me, in his own way, which Anna realizes after Bruno beats her and kicks her out. She realizes it too late. I do love my dogs despite their annoyances, and Anna realizes she does love Viktor, again after it's too late. Anna does have friends and family she could reach out to, but she chooses her sadness and misery instead. I feel like you and I both constantly choose to get on the happiness train whenever it passes us, because if we were to stay on the platform over and over again we would become Anna. I seriously think we would. Not in the adultery, but in the depression and thought cycle. I feel like that was her big conclusion at the end - she knew the whole time that she was creating this terrible life for herself out of nothing, but she never acknowledged it. And then she did acknowledge it but didn't know what to do with that acknowledgement. She realized she did live in a beautiful town - she used to get depressed about having to die there, but I think she would have felt that way anywhere because that was her depression speaking. She knew that Stephen didn't love her or feel attached to her, but she wanted to believe that because she wanted to place the blame for her behavior somewhere.

All of that is to say, I really really really appreciate this book. So much. As much as I hated Anna pretty much the whole freaking time, I feel like this book was a window into a life that could be created by anyone who doesn't care to put in the effort to create their own happiness. It's a warning and it's a lament. I appreciate it so much. I grieve for Anna and the life she could have had with Bruno it Switzerland had she accepted help from others or cared. This story made me so sad but it was also written so beautifully. I loved the comparisons with the German language and the way nearly everything people said to Anna was taken apart and criticized and turned into a metaphor.

All of this is to say 5 stars from me, surprisingly.