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I was really excited about this book when I first read its description. Bisexual & BIPOC representation in the world of ballet with a demon that gives you supernatural abilities? Yes, please. That BOOK TITLE? YESSS.

In my reading, I have determined one major flaw, the book wasn't long enough. If the book was longer, it could achieve some of the items on my would-have-liked-better-if list, which include: more queerness and more time spent with each character. I would have loved a series of scenes further setting up this toxic relationship/friendship between Laur and Coralie. I wanted more Jennifer's Body vibes from their relationship. I also wanted more time with Joséphine, Ciro, Andor, and Keturah. I feel like I barely had enough time to get attached to them which made the overall plot less impactful.

It gets only a 2 on the gator rating of queerness because yeah, Laur is bisexual, but other than mentioning her ex-girlfriend and some emotional lesbian subtext between the childhood friends, we're left with a lot of heterosexual longing. The way that Laur describes women should have been just as decadent as how she described men, I wanted to feel that equal attraction to multiple genders. And for a book that really engages with the ramifications of race and socioeconomic upbringing in the world of ballet, it barely mentions what anyone thinks of queerness. Of course, I wish the world were a place that allowed you to be queer without a second thought, but having it described so casually in this setting just made it feel like her bisexuality was disregarded. 

There were some banging quotes and writing in this that I want to share:
“TO THOSE WHO FIND FREEDOM IN BECOMING A MONSTER WHEN DENIED THE SPACE TO BE HUMAN”
“Even Chaos has rules. To receive, we must be willing to take. To win, you must be willing to fight. To drink in life itself, you must be willing to bleed. And there will be blood.”
“As his gaze brushed my lips, I pictured him consecrating my blood to hungry roots in his garden. The moss in Elysium could make a home of my bones and I’d welcome it wholly just to feel permanent and part of something. The darkest part in me hungered for that brand of ruin.”
“What if I told you I wanted to be my most monstrous self all the time? What if I wanted to be a god? Would you pray to me?”

And then my favorite: "Twelve years of feeding this dream, cutting down anyone else who
stood in my path, only to have the one girl I spared turn around and bite me. And she had the audacity to be mediocre."