There's some famous veterinary advice about how to treat cats. DON'T FIGHT A CAT. USE YOUR BRAIN. USE DRUGS. It's also decent parenting advice.

The basic premise of How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen is that your urge to discipline and punish, to control you little chaos monkey, may make you feel like you have a handle on things in that moment, but it won't solve your parenting challenge. Instead, you set up an escalating series of boundary testing challenges, and a little kid has more energy and creativity than you do.

Instead, the axiom of this book is that kids won't act right if they don't feel right, and the first step is to label and validate the bad feelings, because kids lack the skills to do so themselves. And while you can't USE DRUGS, you can use verbal judo technique such as fantasy, offering a choice between options which are fine to you, and pointing to external controls like lists and timers to neutralize hard choices like having to get dressed and go to school.

It's all very touchy-feely, and my own kid is too young for me to give first-hand approval and that last star. But I can say, having witnessed the exact opposite of this book's recommendations first hand, it's not like this can be worse.