This book answers the question: if your best friend, who you just had passionate sex with, responds to your declaration of love by laughing in your face, could you ever forgive them? Well, it turns out that if said best friend is the goldenest golden retriever who ever lived and has super sexy eyes and has done a fuckton of growing up and gay awakening since you walked out of his life 12 years ago, the answer is yes. But not until after you scream at him and tell him to fuck off multiple times, to be fair. 

I loved this second chance best-friends-to-estranged-to-lovers romance for two men in their forties. Rachel Reid just has an incredible way of writing characters who seem absolutely real to me. Reading her dialogue feels like overhearing an actual conversation - a heartbreaking one where much of the real meaning is under the surface. The longing! She gets under her characters’ skin, and they get under mine and then attach themselves permanently to my heart. The hockey content is more minimal than in her other books (both MCs are retired from the game), but there is moving exposition of how being in pro hockey affected their mental health and ability to live truly. In terms of Rachel Reid characters, Riley and Adam are up there close to Shane and Ilya for me - I’ll be thinking about them for a long time. 

Side note with spoilers: a bunch of Good Reads reviewers talk about how much they hate Adam, because of how he treated Riley before and because he doesn’t immediately respect Riley’s apparent wishes by leaving when Riley initially tells him to fuck off. Sigh. Yes, Adam treated Riley in a really shitty way in the beforetimes. But I really wish we had more forgiveness as readers for imperfect characters. Adam was in deep denial about his sexuality - which didn’t seem at all compatible with his hockey career. Let’s extend a little grace. And as for not leaving when Riley asked - there would literally be no book without that! And Riley explicitly thanks him at the end of the book for not leaving, and seeing that he really needed him to stay and fight.