Well, I suppose I feel sorry for him. I feel sorry for the loss and the grieving, certainly, but there's a whole lot of misplaced guilt and responsibility going on here that I don't have much time for. It's certainly not reason enough to allow terrible things to keep happening, I'm afraid. Not when you're one of the few left who can do something about it.

Suck it up sounds unsympathetic, but for fuck's sake... if you did the absolute best you could to the limits of your knowledge at the time, stop the wallowing and get on with it.