Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

It had been a long time since anyone had looked at Daniel like they wished good things for him.

You ever think to yourself 'I would really like to read a book that is so dark and heavy, with a sense of hopelessness and tragedy that will just make me cry throughout the entire thing’? If so, you have come to the right place. This book is the equivalent of being kicked in your emotional ballsack, repeatedly, until the very end.

“I am not—you hear me? I am not gonna leave.” Daniel didn’t answer.
“Tell me you hear that.” Daniel was silent for a long moment.
“You might, though.”
“I won’t.”
“If you have to, it doesn’t make you bad. I'd leave me if I could. Walk right out of this body. Shit.” Daniel almost smiled.
“I’ve tried. So many times. But I’m always here.”

It’s a hard-fought HFN, but more hopeful than you might expect while reading. There’s plenty of unhealthy coping mechanisms here, most of all any and all forms of self harm, both as punishment and so that Daniel can exhaust himself enough to not sleepwalk. They partake in BDSM (Dom/sub) with no real knowledge about it, no discussion of limits, and no safewords. It’s not supposed to be hot or ‘correct’. These guys are young and don’t know what the hell they’re doing, just trying to make it through, and trying to be what the other needs. It’s highly uncomfortable to read it at times, but man is it effective. It’s an incredibly well written story and although I realize a lot of people probably wouldn’t ever want to read it, I wish they did. It’s an incredible story, with or without the romance, and like nothing I’ve read before.

He needed someone like Bel, someone who could see how much sleep hurt him, who could hear him screaming, see the bruises on his wrist—and would lock him up anyway.

It’s a reread for me, but it was still heavy, angsty, and honestly just a little depressing. I definitely would not recommend reading this if you’re in a dark place and feeling vulnerable. The list of content warnings is extensive and needed.

The littlest thing would make me cry while reading. It all just hurts. Imagine promising someone you love that you’ll never leave them, but also wondering how you’ll manage to stay? Yeah, that’s a bit of the vibe here. You’ll hurt for both Daniel and Bel.

Daniel was glad Bel couldn’t see his expression. He had a feeling Bel would consider it attitude.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Social outcast
Severe sleepwalking disorder
Mental health rep
Police officer MC
Former inmate
Past trauma
Dom/sub dynamic
Power exchange
Kink exploration
Semi-closeted MC
Angst central

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
•Arson/manslaughter (past, MC the arsonist)
•Homophobia
•Homophobic slurs (used by MCs and SCs)
•MC victim of a hate crime (severe beating, past, detailed)
•Graphic details of past injuries
•Gun violence (not fired - several threats)
•Mention of MC drinking urine while sleepwalking
•Non-sexual masochism (past and present)
•Mentions of past beatings
•Restraints (to keep from sleepwalking)
•MC injures his anus and tricks MC2 into penetrative sex so that it will hurt (MC2 stops as soon as he realizes)
•Past incarceration
•Sleep deprivation
•Past beating with belt as punishment (parent)
•Self harm (many forms, on page)
•House fire (on page, MC inside)
•Numerous references to drug use but neither MC uses (side characters, accusations of MC using)
•Brief mention of unimportant side character convicted of raping a child (past, off page, no details)
•Social ostracizing and bullying of MC
•References to psychiatric ward stay
•Brief mentions of being drugged while incarcerated
•Parent with gambling addiction (not many details)
•Vague mention of possible past sexual assault (MC, no details)
•MC physically and bodily restraining other MC
•Mutilated animal (off page, pig’s head)
•Suicidal ideation/thoughts
•Instance of non-consent between MCs (sleepwalking MC giving oral to sleeping MC - neither want it)
•MC beaten and harassed by three men (on page)
•MC almost drowns (saved in time)
•Restraints during sex
•Sketchy BDSM practice (no discussing limits or safewords)
•Death of minor side character’s dog (hit by car, off page, some details)
•Impact play (erotic)
•Impact play (punishment)
•Side character intoxicated by drugs (on page)
•Vomiting
•Explicit sexual content

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: Daniel kisses someone on page before anything happens with Bel (and is sleepwalking). Daniel plans to hook up with a ‘master’ who can use him and chain him up at night - he touches the ‘master’ a little but they don’t go any further. Happens before anything is started between Daniel and Bel. Daniel leaves sketchy situation where possible gangbang could’ve happened, orchestrated by this ‘master’. He texts this ‘master’ later too before he’s together with Bel, but nothing sexual ever happens between them.
Breakup: No
POV: 3rd person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Strict roles
Main characters’ age: 23 and 27
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: Yes
Pages: 360


His parents mostly stopped yelling at Daniel for things he did in his sleep, but sometimes his mother cried, which was worse than yelling.

“You know you sound crazy, right?” Bel asked. “How do you know you’re not just crazy?” “I don’t fucking know!” There was that deep, jagged pain in Whitlock’s eyes again, a sort of brutal disappointment, like something he’d hoped for had fallen through. He closed his right hand around his left wrist. “If I ain’t crazy naturally, I feel crazy from not sleeping. So maybe I am crazy. Maybe I fucking am!”

Whitlock shook his head more vehemently. “Even a meth head’s got more sense than I do when it comes to knowing when to quit. If I’m asleep and you try to wake me up, I might fight and not stop.”

She walked toward her car. Didn’t say good-bye. “I love you, Daniel,” she’d said twenty-two years ago, when they’d left the house for his first day of kindergarten. […] What if he said it now? “I love you, Mom.” What if she just kept walking? Can’t love someone who treats you like that. Can’t love someone who don’t love you. He wished he believed that.

Then Bel stepped through the flames. “Hey, Bel,” Daniel smiled. “Hey. You awake?” “Yeah.” Daniel watched the flames wash over the walls. Bel kissed him on the forehead. “No, you ain’t.”



You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?igsh=MWZ3azhkdDc2Y2ludg%3D%3D&utm_source=qr