Take a photo of a barcode or cover
mburnamfink 's review for:
Okay, so small talk sucks. There is nothing that inspires more dread in me than small talk, particularly with strangers at cocktail parties. Small talk is literally soul-killing, but is a necessary prelude to deeper conversations, which I do enjoy. I've read Carnegie a bunch, and screw that antiquated nonsense. King is a self-credentialed charisma coach, which can conceal a lot of sins, but his advice makes sense, and falls into three major categories.
First, small talk is a skill that can be practiced, so practice it on victims who can't flee, like co-workers or retail employees. Be reasonable here, but you can try and move beyond. "How are you? Fine. And you? Fine." You can also warm up on your own time with dramatic reading and free-association exercises.
Second, you should prepare a conversational resume, short answers to questions about yourself and current events using the 1:1:1 format of (1) one action, (2) one emotion to be evoked, and (3) a one-sentence summary, advice which is particularly useful to me because as a person with letters after my name, I am by nature very wordy.
Finally, study reporters doing after game interviews of athletes for a model of how to ask good structured questions. It's worth taking the extra time to lay out a question that invites the other person to respond with a detailed story about themselves or their opinion on an issue, because that makes them feel appreciated, and details give you something to continue the conversation with. A question that can be terminated with a simple yes or no is a bad one. After game questions are a great example, because athletes are exhausted, amped up, and typically not selected for their expressiveness, yet reporters get something out of them.
There is also some general advice about letting the conversation flow, using compliments to get people to open up, and appreciative listening. This book is part of a 20+ book series, and I'm deeply skeptical that there's enough in this model to sustain 20+ books, but it's reasonable for $4 and a couple of hours, and I might get the one on listening.
First, small talk is a skill that can be practiced, so practice it on victims who can't flee, like co-workers or retail employees. Be reasonable here, but you can try and move beyond. "How are you? Fine. And you? Fine." You can also warm up on your own time with dramatic reading and free-association exercises.
Second, you should prepare a conversational resume, short answers to questions about yourself and current events using the 1:1:1 format of (1) one action, (2) one emotion to be evoked, and (3) a one-sentence summary, advice which is particularly useful to me because as a person with letters after my name, I am by nature very wordy.
Finally, study reporters doing after game interviews of athletes for a model of how to ask good structured questions. It's worth taking the extra time to lay out a question that invites the other person to respond with a detailed story about themselves or their opinion on an issue, because that makes them feel appreciated, and details give you something to continue the conversation with. A question that can be terminated with a simple yes or no is a bad one. After game questions are a great example, because athletes are exhausted, amped up, and typically not selected for their expressiveness, yet reporters get something out of them.
There is also some general advice about letting the conversation flow, using compliments to get people to open up, and appreciative listening. This book is part of a 20+ book series, and I'm deeply skeptical that there's enough in this model to sustain 20+ books, but it's reasonable for $4 and a couple of hours, and I might get the one on listening.